Today, the most action I had on Valentine's day was a homeless guy pulling his dick out at me as I walked home from work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
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Top comments
Talis99 26
More than I got.
whatarethisss 23
I guess he was trying to get some action on Valentine's Day too.
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Comments (36)
swimgood 16
I like the wording of how he pulled it out "at" you. Lock and load!
DreamEscape 6
I'm guessing atlanta or macon?
UltJan 11
For me it was putting my 7x7 puzzle (like a Rubik's Cube, but 7 layers instead of 3) in a heart pattern, LOL PS: The puzzle was a cubic MoYu AoFu GT
aprilnb1 18
He put the D back in Valentine's Day...
moondoggie 20
maybe next year the guy wont forget to bring some flowers also?
citrusglass 22
"...and that's the story of how your grandparents met." You never know, (sorry for the cliché line) love can show up in the most unexpected of places. Think of what he did as a compliment.
Blissment 12
that is amazing. I never get stories like this!
gchgffcc 6
HARAMBE