Today, the most action I had on Valentine's day was a homeless guy pulling his dick out at me as I walked home from work. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a homeless man walked up to me. He opened his mouth to say something and I immediately said that I didn't have any spare change because I was late for work. He then said "I was gonna ask you for the time, dickwad". Apparently he wasn't homeless. FML
Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML
Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML
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Top comments
Talis99 26
More than I got.
whatarethisss 23
I guess he was trying to get some action on Valentine's Day too.
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Comments (36)
moocowmilk0 19
You made his day probably (:
Dawnoftime 12
Anyone else notice that Valentine's Day causes more harm and despair than good?
atleast_fml 6
it is purely commercial thing
moodyreallyrocks 27
Hope next year will be better..
melbournearsenal 18
Who says chivalry is dead?
atleast_fml 6
at least he finds you attractive.
am1717 22
Better than nothing :)
hellnosucka 27
who knows? maybe even three if they're lucky.
pete2274 12
Homeless people need love too.
babywhiz 2
I actually had to read this 4 times before I realized he wasn't actually IN you... I blame the FML above (about the stage actors getting caught when the curtains opened) for that visual.
miki07 4
I read that as a homeless guy pulling his dick out of me. I was a little horrified for a second.