Today, I was talking with a very attractive coworker outside when a moth flew into my ear. I started screaming and hitting my ear because it was stuck and alive in my ear. I spent the rest of the day at the ER. I'm forever known as The Moth Lady. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML
Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML
Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML
Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I approached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML
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Top comments
lukian_fml 29
I've had this happen in my bedroom. It's best to remain calm and let someone remove it. It's quite hard though, given how loud something fluttering inside your ear is.
species4872 20
Stay away from bright lights,
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Comments (14)
Hcyanide 8
This happened to me a while back, I tilted my head and filled my ear with water. Was sad that it died but I couldn't get it out any other way. Once it was dead it was easy to remove because it no longer hurts your ear and doesn't resist removal.
The_Nova 12
I had this happen to me too. Went from calmly laying in bed with my partner to shrieking and hitting my ear in an instant. Suffice to say it scared the crap out of both of us and the neighbours probably thought someone was being murdered. Poured oil in my ear to get it out, wasn't fun.
dongdong xiang 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
THESE FML MODS BE RACIST AF THEY MODERATED MY COMMENT BECAUSE IM BLACK. SMH WHEN I WAS GETTING MY ASS HANDED TO ME IN OTHER FMLS THEY DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO THEM NOW THEY MOD MY ASS BECAUSE IM BLACK. THEY ******* RACIST ABOUT THE OPINON OF A BLACK PERSON THATS WHY THEY BE PANINI PRESSED I AINT DO SHIT. SMH I AINT DO NOTHING ITS COZ THE COLOUR OF MY SKIN. SMH RACIST ASS MOTHERFUCKIN MODS SMH!!!!!!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
OMG I am shuddering. That sounds absolutely horrible. I hate the feeling of something in my ear, but a living thing flapping around? Uggghhhh!!! I hope the ER was able to get it out.