Today, at the end of a 15 hour shift, my girlfriend and her friends played a "prank" on me by texting me from a random number saying my cat got hit by a car. I immediately burst into tears and lost it in front of my colleagues. My cat is fine. My relationship is the real joke. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again… FML
Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML
Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML
Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML
Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML
Today, I found out that my favorite female coworker was in a car accident. When I told my girlfriend, her only reaction was to roll her eyes and sarcastically say, "Oh no." She then immediately, and very enthusiastically, asked if the accident killed her. FML
Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML
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Top comments
boopingsnoot 25
Hey, at least your cat is ok, and you know your girlfriend is a sociopath. Dump her carefully…
Michelle Bywaters 3
There is nothing funny about that. A joke is only funny if ALL parties find it funny!! Dump her and her stupid friends will go as well. Win win situation
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Comments (43)
mccuish 25
That joke is not funny in anyway.
Mozelle123 10
Sry didn't mean to thumbs down. Wrong button lol
thatslifeiguess7 16
don't you mean ex girlfriend? these pranks about death and cheating gonna get someone killed
Sheepiebeepie 26
Hey Op here! I'm actually a woman, I guess the little indicator is wrong. So no I don't have balls... but I still think it would be okay to cry about this as a man. This actually happened a little while ago. My cat had a collar with my phone number, and the text said, "Hey I just wanted to let you know I found your cat on the side of the road, looks like he got hit by a car, my condolences". I immediately texted my girlfriend who lived with me, and told her what happened and to go find him. She sent me a confused text with a picture of him saying he was fine, and I didn't find out until two days later that it was my girlfriend and her friends who had done this. They thought it was hilarious the whole time. I have since eradicated these pathetic humans from my life and my cat is still alive and well.
Lisa McComb 10
Hey, OP, glad to hear you got those insensitive jerks outta your life! Keep your chin up and keep moving forward!
Mozelle123 10
Time to think about other relationship options...
at0micmin3r 23
Your GF is a scumbag. You deserve way better. DUMP HER.
PanemEtCircenses 15
OMG. I just lost my cat (cause of cancer) and I know what it feels to lose a pet. Your GF and friends are real jerks
BrazilianNotGayBlueHaired 6
you should probably say "**** YOU, IF YOU WERE DEAD I WOULDN'T CRY LIKE THAT" or not, maybe she would break up with you
crazycatlady88 3
Time to get a new girlfriend.