Today, at the end of a 15 hour shift, my girlfriend and her friends played a "prank" on me by texting me from a random number saying my cat got hit by a car. I immediately burst into tears and lost it in front of my colleagues. My cat is fine. My relationship is the real joke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again… FML
Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML
Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML
Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML
Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML
Today, I found out that my favorite female coworker was in a car accident. When I told my girlfriend, her only reaction was to roll her eyes and sarcastically say, "Oh no." She then immediately, and very enthusiastically, asked if the accident killed her. FML
Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML
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Top comments
boopingsnoot 25
Hey, at least your cat is ok, and you know your girlfriend is a sociopath. Dump her carefully…
Michelle Bywaters 3
There is nothing funny about that. A joke is only funny if ALL parties find it funny!! Dump her and her stupid friends will go as well. Win win situation
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Comments (43)
labiapatrol 8
Sure it wasn't a dog? Cause she sounds like a real bitch..
Lisa McComb 10
your girlfriend thought it was funny to cause your mental anguish/ emotional trauma for fun?? Not one of her friends had the good sense to say hey this isnt a good idea...I'm happy your cat is ok. what will her next "joke" be with your kitty? leave your abusive "girlfriend" behind. Best of luck to you.
Pmm368 5
That sucks. I've had a "friend" try that on me, but she didn't take it that far. She called me up, pretending to be my ex girlfriend. Not sure why since I haven't bothered talking to that friend again. I knew it was her because I had her phone number & she didn't even attempt to hide it (not like I didn't know her voice anyways).
anyoldnamewilldo 23
What a horrible thing to do to someone. I am sorry you are with an insensitive jerk of a person.
Shane Adam 2
Wow you're a bitch
DJRy 13
Any person who would say that to you isn't worth your time. It's not funny and it's inappropriate and **** them. Seriously. I:
Marvin M. Kent 4
that sucks but so do cats
DanielleinDC 34
Your girlfriend sounds like a real asshole. That's not funny. That's not the least bit funny. I hope she's your ex-girlfriend now.
RockPrincess26 16
You seriously just started crying? Man up.
Natasha Kinnear 9
Kick her in the vag and then tell her her "cat" just died.