Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML
Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML
Today, I was in the hospital. My mom was with me and the pump was beeping for over two hours because everyone was busy with other patients. The Asian doctor came in and my mom said, “THESE PUMPS SOUND LIKE CHINESE TORTURE!“ He stared at her and was like, “Umm. We don’t actually do that there.” FML
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Top comments
CDobs 8
No worries, I'd have done the same thing.
AGB10 19
Nothing wrong with that..I think it's amusing too..specially if the trainer is cute ;) Look on the bright side - Maybe you were the only one in the room who feels 25..and the rest maybe 25 but going in 70..
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Comments (117)
baine 4
I don't care who you are, that's funny.
aJaguarinRed 9
Its all about performance. Pump hard enough and maybe they will come back... To life..
RonnieG 10
hell yes I would have laughed! but, I laugh whenever someone says "duty". it's my main character flaw :(
BobbieH 19
There is nothing wrong with a childish sense of humor. However you deserve the response you got because of that sense of humor. It was inappropriate in that situation and you have sole responsibility of bringing that harsh look upon yourself. You may deserve it but it doesn't make you bad or wrong, just inappropriate!
LesAnn89 3
Sometimes people learn better and remember things when they are laughing and having a good time.
guyverzerox 6
You are an awesome 45 year old Doctor!!!
doulenkd 7
They are all just stuck up don't worry about it I would've been laughing with you I know a lot of older guys you laugh at that stuff they need a prescription for a sense of humor :)
downer3498 4
There's no age limit on laughing at double entendre!
Huddisher 10
I was the only one in health class who laughed at the teacher who kept saying penis, sperm, testes, and ******.
maverick628 4
We in the medical profession tend to find the humor in a lot of training classes. I do the same thing, so it's not just you
skyeyez9 25
As soon as I read those three words, I giggled as well. Your CPR class is full of boring people OP.