Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, it's April Fool's day. I had to take a CPR class, and everything was going well. We took a break and I went to get a drink of water and started choking. They thought I was making fun of the class, and made me leave. FML
Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML
Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML
Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML
Today, I was in the hospital. My mom was with me and the pump was beeping for over two hours because everyone was busy with other patients. The Asian doctor came in and my mom said, “THESE PUMPS SOUND LIKE CHINESE TORTURE!“ He stared at her and was like, “Umm. We don’t actually do that there.” FML
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Top comments
CDobs 8
No worries, I'd have done the same thing.
AGB10 19
Nothing wrong with that..I think it's amusing too..specially if the trainer is cute ;) Look on the bright side - Maybe you were the only one in the room who feels 25..and the rest maybe 25 but going in 70..
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Comments (117)
tragicnightmare 15
I'm guessing some other people your age would at least think of it in a dirty-minded way too. Don't feel too bad OP, others probably thought "That was the same thing I thought".
RossJohn 3
People need to lighten up!
NoMore_CoolNames 14
You still have that questionable sense of humor most of us lost by college.
kr2778 7
Lol wow you're pretty awesome
xblaine 17
It's to bad people have their head up their ass these days I would've laughed my ass off. But then again I'm 14.
Mightytall 35
Way to go!!! into sexual harassment territory... It's a sad thing that in the US you may actually be subject to prosecution for juvenile humor. I would have laughed too ... Keep young at heart dude!
RedPillSucks 33
It's not sexual harassment to laugh at something you thought was funny, appropriately or not. No lawyer would take such a case. Now, if the instructor (say a male) wanted a trainee to volunteer for a demonstration and said "Hey, you look like you could use a good hard fast pumping..." to some woman trainee, you might have something there.
buckdharma 38
"She's breathing hard now, and smiling." Those new techniques are incredible!
CharresBarkrey 16
I'm sorry. I really appreciate the innuendo attempt, but no one smiles after receiving CPR
aJaguarinRed 9
That was actually pretty funny considering she likes her pumping fast and hard!
twinkiefeets 17
Sometimes you have to be professional, you could have laughed about that comment at a later more appropriate time.
iDaika9xL 13
Lol really?? The rest of people in the room don't have sense on humor
Badgero 12
Hey, I laughed reading it!