Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I'd first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I'd decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML
Today, I made my way to a bar for a first date with a guy I had been talking to online. It turned out he was actually my ex-boyfriend in disguise, trying to get revenge for dumping him. FML
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML
Today, a colleague told me he was pretending to be me on a dating site, and that he has four pending dates. Last time I tried being myself, my first and only date pushed me down some stairs. FML
Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML
Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
Don't use eHarmoney. The guy was probably joking about his condition and you took it the wrong way. Don't be so harsh.
bellus 0
i don't get the pun.
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Comments (108)
VenomByte 1
The Concord Hospital Outpatient program is rather nice. I've got tonight available. Where shall I pick you up?
Arbiter329 0
He be trollin.
pseudonomous 0
That. is. TERRIFYING!
wowzersselainee 0
Lmfaoooo... sleep with an eye open ! question.. where did his psycho ass get the computer from ?
CathleenH 0
Must be my ex. Thought he'd be on the loose again.
ChangMu 8
Try dating guys that aren't your type.
bunniex1 11
I had to go to a mental health facility once for a suicide attempt valle vista baby :D
ManiPaul 6
Try Myspace or Facebook next time lol
cals_94 4
Online dating is always hit or miss.. More misses than hits though.
SiraSiemens 21
so you thought your chances of finding a non weird decent guy are better on the internet than real life? oh sweet summer child