Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML
Today, I joined a dating website and spent all day filling out and improving my profile. My first match is a guy who relentlessly tried to date me for all 4 years of high school. Now he just has more reasons to tell me how much we're meant to be. We're a 97% match. FML
Today, I re-joined a popular on-line dating service. I'd first signed up 3 years ago and was matched with a wonderful woman. After about a year, she broke up with me. I was devastated. After two years of trying to win her back, I'd decided it's best just to move on. Guess who they matched me with? FML
Today, I made my way to a bar for a first date with a guy I had been talking to online. It turned out he was actually my ex-boyfriend in disguise, trying to get revenge for dumping him. FML
Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML
Today, I met a guy online. We talked all night long and hit it off amazingly. He told me he'd never felt that way about anyone else, and I agreed. He sent me a picture and he was gorgeous. I sent him one after he assured me he didn't care what I looked like. I haven't heard from him since. FML
Today, a colleague told me he was pretending to be me on a dating site, and that he has four pending dates. Last time I tried being myself, my first and only date pushed me down some stairs. FML
Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML
Today, I had a date with a man who works as a psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder during dinner. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
Don't use eHarmoney. The guy was probably joking about his condition and you took it the wrong way. Don't be so harsh.
bellus 0
i don't get the pun.
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Comments (108)
LeighMoreno 0
What an ice breaker that must have been..
QwertyMcNugget 0
One, two, he's comin for you. :]
kingghidorah 10
Haha...comin....in a different sense of the word maybe
sourgirl101 29
5,6 grab your crucifix...
Primus_fml 0
COMBO BREAKER!! Nah just kidding :). 7,8 better stay up late..
mexicutioner123 0
9,10 you better watch your head
6sick6 4
WTF 51?! it's 9, 10 never sleep again!
FFML_314 12
No. It's "9, 10 A big fat hen"
SiraSiemens 21
three, four better lock your door five, six grab your crucifix seven, eight gotta stay up late nine, ten never sleep again
loveurlifeJK 5
OP is the stalker here. You're a creeper if you show up in people's dreams. Poor guy. /endsarcasm
Schizomaniac 24
You changed your make-up :o
loveurlifeJK 5
Yep. I decided wearing all of that other makeup looked garish and gross. :D
katieebug 0
that's why you don't meet people on the Internet. I'd make sure you lock your doors tonight... loll
stephtalbot 0
omg not cool and very creepy
lovestrong 0
If you can't find a decent guy in person, what makes you think you'll find one over the Internet? You will find the ones who are to scared to come out in person xD Just my thought (:
Geiko_fml 0
It's difficult to find a decent girl in person, too. Not just a guy. Then again, that's from a guys perspective.
alexaluvee 0
huh.? that has to be have been the stupidest FML I've ever seen. I don't get it at all
justsayfuck 5
Haha pendatik, nice.
fuckyou6969 0
don't go on Internet dating sites
A_Khalifa 0
ydi for having a computer