Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I went to meet a friend for coffee. When I arrived, I mistakenly thought it was a casual meet-up, but apparently, it was a date. I didn’t realize this until she leaned in for a kiss at the end, and I awkwardly offered her a fist bump instead. FML
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl I recently met, thinking she was really into me. Turns out she isn’t. How did I figure it out? We went clubbing and she hit on my roommate, made out with her best guy friend, and then left with a completely different guy. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
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Top comments
lexa1love 16
Unless you are close friends I see no way in which that is appropriate. YDI
dazzle_me_lovely 9
Are you an idiot?
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Comments (387)
Capt_Oblivious 10
The power of Fail compels you.
bpeacelove 4
Well played! That deserves the Assinine of the Year award!
amyrules99 7
idiot...
ShinedownLuv 14
And you thought calling your date a **** would end well because...
Eiregal2 10
I thought you last full stop was a spot of my tab. I tried to wipe is off. (>_
dd809 9
...what the hell did you just say?
afallingstar 22
He was hoping she was a ****?
nancyschmancy 9
He said, "I am too damn high to be posting on here" at least that is what I read.
Ari1337 15
Girls loved being called *****. I don't see what went wrong.[/sarcasm]
texas_redneck88 10
I'm laid back and casual w/ my female friends, but I'm not stupid enough to say "s'up ****". You're a ******' retard
JessieMongoose 11
That's just a really stupid thing to say.
pandalover69 26
only girls can call girls that you moron and even then it's not really ok but the fact you as her DATE called her a **** makes you a disrespectful pig.
Herculesninja27 5
You're an idiot lol
perdix 31
You ought to find that girl who tells guys she has a big dick. You both have the same knack for shitty timing.