Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
Today, I went to meet a friend for coffee. When I arrived, I mistakenly thought it was a casual meet-up, but apparently, it was a date. I didn’t realize this until she leaned in for a kiss at the end, and I awkwardly offered her a fist bump instead. FML
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemed like it would be a good night. While in the movie theater, I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said, "You're so funny, I'm so glad we're friends". FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I really like. At the last minute he informed me a friend would be tagging along. To keep his friend from being a third-wheel, I kept up a conversation, and managed to piss my date off. He thought I would be a better match for his friend. FML
Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl I recently met, thinking she was really into me. Turns out she isn’t. How did I figure it out? We went clubbing and she hit on my roommate, made out with her best guy friend, and then left with a completely different guy. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML
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Top comments
lexa1love 16
Unless you are close friends I see no way in which that is appropriate. YDI
dazzle_me_lovely 9
Are you an idiot?
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Comments (387)
Driveshaft 5
That's so odd, because I LOVE when my wife greets me with "s'up shit for brains pecker head". Different strokes I guess. That, or you're an idiot.
sweetmama88 6
Is that what your father calls your mother? Where are your manners. they always say the apple don't fall far from the tree, your parents are great role models . next time think before you open your mouth .
THE_A_TEEN 28
We don't know anything about OP's family. So why are you assuming that they're shit-heads like him?
M0TTO 6
I hate people like you...
puppypie67 0
You defiantly deserve it!
nancyschmancy 9
Defiantly? Does that mean you are arguing with yourself about whether he deserves it?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Uhh, no. I like guys as much as I like girls and I would never call a friendly girl a ****.
RobynPayne 3
Uh no good. Ur not one of her girls! Only we can say that to each other, but then only sometime...
wtfpeoplewtf 0
WTF?!! Really you are a complete moron!!!
dustyb555 1
Be laid back and casual with your friends, not a girl who you said you've liked for a while, and not on a first date. You sir are dumb.
marmlr339 14
70 - that's different. That sounds like she was angry. I call close friends anything. They Jusg think it's funny. They coukdnt care less
MajorMinigun762 0
Your failure is com-plete....