Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says, "I've been a dirty, dirty girl" in a seductive tone. I thought she meant about the table so I said, "Yes you have!" She then winked at me. I walked away fast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML
Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML
Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year-old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
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Top comments
grocky 0
That's revolting.
Jimboom 12
You knew exactly what she meant and you liked it!! ;)
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Comments (158)
redbluegreen 41
#53 - I'm pretty positive they don't, honestly. I think it would give either one of them a heart attack or they'd break their bones in a snap, no pun intended. Before I was born, maybe, but now, certainly not.
SarlaccBits 0
This isn’t an FML or YDI. Whiner. Just because someone is old doesn’t mean they don’t want some sweet lovin’ every now and again. Consider it a compliment instead of being an ass.
wienerwagon 0
What is this shit. This is the worst story ever posted on this site.
L0veh8te 0
good one # 45
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
C'mon, an old guy who beats the shit out of some dude, and then this old woman hitting on a guy? Whaaat the hell?
lil_miz_liz09 0
HAHAHAHAH THATS SO CREEPY
OMG_Life_Sucks 1
Tramua!!!!!
pernicious_pink 12
Creeeepy!
sauce_boss 0
I know you were thinking DIBBS
necrophrenic 0
How is this a FML. Unless it's the first person to hit on you in ages. Be flattered. I doubt she's dangerous :P