Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my extremely affectionate and docile cat, whom I love like a child and has never drawn blood, scratched my roommate of one day in the face while I was at work. She claims he just went ballistic, and I don't believe she's telling me everything. What the hell did she do to my cat? It's gonna be a long lease. FML
Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though. With my cat. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML
Today, my cats started fighting again. Normally, I let them, because it's the only exercise they get. But this time one of my cats sliced the other's nose, and he responded by pinning her and nearly choking her to death. When I ran in to stop them, they teamed up against me. Ah, somethin' don't feel too good… FML
Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML
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Top comments
hghrider123456 9
So you get beat into submission by a pussy, I see nothing out of the ordinary here
DocBastard 40
ALL cats think like this. The difference between most cats and yours is that yours actually has the guts to go through with it.
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Comments (241)
ibanghellokitty 8
Try Kijiji people will buy animals there like crazy
Likian5 26
I love the clever wording of these FML's
hellphone_fml 37
spray it with water because most cats do not like water and it is a great way to train them also make sure you have a decent amount of toys and a scratching post
yorkie0333 13
Haha love dat cat!
little_one1 14
Now is the time to train your cat to do that to OTHER people. Hopefully just people you don't like.
tranced_ 45
Demon cat strikes again
brookesilver 7
I wonder why.
Sarairwin49 22
owch..
sassypants93 17
I don't understand how any post that has anything to do with dogs being better got tons of thumbs downs. Aren't we allowed opinions. It doesn't make people heartless to dislike things that are this vicious.
asylumlane 23
Take her ass to a shelter.
wholock 12
90% of pets at shelters never leave the shelter. You think that's the best thing to do?