Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my extremely affectionate and docile cat, whom I love like a child and has never drawn blood, scratched my roommate of one day in the face while I was at work. She claims he just went ballistic, and I don't believe she's telling me everything. What the hell did she do to my cat? It's gonna be a long lease. FML
Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though. With my cat. FML
Today, I disciplined my cat for meowing too loudly in my apartment and disturbing neighbors by picking her up by the scruff. She then proceeded to scratch the ever living crap out of my hand, now it looks like Wolverine got a hold of me. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, my ill-tempered cat tried to slap me in the face. She ended up sticking one of her claws as far up my nostril as it would go, and got stuck. Not only did I kinda get to experience what it feels like to be stabbed, I also got a horrible nosebleed. FML
Today, my cats started fighting again. Normally, I let them, because it's the only exercise they get. But this time one of my cats sliced the other's nose, and he responded by pinning her and nearly choking her to death. When I ran in to stop them, they teamed up against me. Ah, somethin' don't feel too good… FML
Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML
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Top comments
hghrider123456 9
So you get beat into submission by a pussy, I see nothing out of the ordinary here
DocBastard 40
ALL cats think like this. The difference between most cats and yours is that yours actually has the guts to go through with it.
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Comments (241)
LayeredCap 4
Clip those claws off !
martin8337 36
Take the cat to the park and ditch it there, problem solved.
Xalandra 17
Except that's illegal, not to mention inhumane. If you decide to take on a pet that means responsibility and the willingness to iron out any problems that might arise. If you don't understand that, then you have a bit more maturing to do.
frizz101 22
Is your cat fixed? Did you switch her food? There are a lot of ways that can cause aggression in cats, a hormonal imbalance, upset stomach, or even a splinter. Take her to the vet, it may be expensive, but if your cat is in pain the vet will find out. Or she might need to climb or she ha excess energy, try harness training her and take her on walks. I hope everything works out OP.
Omniprism 15
You need to work on her. Do you give her attention and spend time petting her? Do you buy her toys and treats and catnip? Some cats can handle a life of solitary and minimal challenge but lots of cats want interaction and treats and stuff. You've got to invest time into a pet. I can tell you she doesn't like you as much as you don't like her and it's because you neglect her.
neeni88 23
56, And some dogs are not vicious? What about the dog that recently killed a 4 year old girl by attacking her in her sleep? At least I've never heard stories of a domestic cat killing anyone. Don't act like cats are the only aggressive or "vicious" animal out there. All animals have a tendency for aggression, just like we humans do too. And, there's usually always a reason behind it. Keep things in perspective and stop villainizing cats as a whole, cause there are plenty of awesome cats out there!
HatemyLife32 15
Is it an orange cat? They're prone to brain tumors and it makes them violent for no reason. Could be that your cat is sick and not just an asshole, as you put it
Sweetpea22 14
I have known many orange cats who were healthy to the end and never mean. I suggest you stop pulling shit out of your ass
Xalandra 17
176- being prone to having brain tumors doesn't mean every orange cat will have one. Cool your jets. Wether it's true or not, I haven't the slightest idea, but they weren't saying that ALL orange cats will develop brain tumors, just that they're more likely than other cats to develop a brain tumor. Just like white or mostly white cats are more prone to skin and nose cancers because their fur lacks pigmentation.
Sweetpea22 14
They aren't more prone to brain tumors. My aunt is a vet and she says #165 is totally lying. :D
dbaguy 9
Take that thing to the pound.
rogwest 23
This is why I hate cats...
kesspeak 11
i'll take her.
mattlw 25
Kill the stupid thing. It's just a cat.