Today, I went to visit my alcoholic father. He remembered to ask me how my dog Reggie is, but could not remember the name of "my pal." My "pal" is also my wife of four years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad called my by the family dog's name, and stared at me blankly as if struggling to remember my name when I was annoyed. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML
Today, my estranged, alcoholic father decided to tell me I have a sister. After 30 minutes of him describing how beautiful she is, how much we look alike, and how she has lived one town away from me her entire life, I was excited to the point of tears. Too bad she died a year ago. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I decided to visit my dad. I haven't seen him in a while so I wanted to give him another chance to be an actual dad to me. Apparently, getting drunk and getting it on with his girlfriend while I was there was more important than spending time with his daughter, who he hasn't seen in almost a year. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML
Today, my dad showed up at my house and offered to take me to my favorite restaurant. He drove me to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. He believes I only had my daughter, who I love with all my heart, because I drunkenly hooked up with a girl. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
Today, my long lost father came to visit me. He got drunk, then tried to beat me up. My neighbor called the police, and as soon as they got there, my father yelled, "Help! This man tried to stab me!" The sad part is, they believed him. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
Today, my father got out of rehab for his alcoholism. This would be great if he hadn't started drinking the moment he got home. FML
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Top comments
ZingZilla 8
could have been worse. could have referenced your wife to the dog instead.
Doortje 30
Get your dad some help, instead of bitching about it on FML.
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Comments (51)
Blueglasscup 18
Does your wife have a long name that caused him to forget?
mrahhhhh 21
Blame it on the ah-ah-ah-ah-alcohol ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah alcohol! I ******* hate that song, but now it's stuck in my head! ****!
bizarre_ftw 22
Well he's an alcoholic right? There's a good chance there's a black out stretching from when you two got together to some recent time. Just saying :/
bizarre_ftw 22
Or if you're a female then he may just be homophobic in which case I say F*ck him! You don't need him in your life!
javierb88 3
Sooo... You married your dog?
hawaiianfire 0
Well, you shoulda seen this coming. He's an alcoholic. I would have sympathy for you if you made any notion to helping him stop.
Battle765 4
If your "wife" is actually a guy he might just be homophobic and in denial.
poppaof6 0
Tell him your wifes name is Jim Beam. I bet he'd remember it from now on.
emmers091 4
ha, you're right, as a lesbian he could be homophobic, or oblivious!
GoneClubbin 9
You're married to a DOG?