Today, I have a cold and need to blow my nose all the time. The problem is that every time I blow my nose, I get a nosebleed. When I breathe through my mouth, I have a coughing fit. So I have to choose between not breathing, coughing up mucus, or blowing blood. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML
Today, I went to a concert. About halfway through, it went quiet at the start of a solo acoustic song. My allergies chose this time to react to some audience member’s strong perfume. I tried to hold back my coughing, but I couldn’t. I found myself interrupting the entire show with a loud drawn-out coughing fit. FML
Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML
Today, I slammed the car door on my head while I was getting in the car. If that wasn't bad enough, my boyfriend is convinced I now have a concussion and insists on waking me up every hour to make sure I'm still alive. FML
Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, my band played for our school. We were cheered for and everything. Being the lead singer, I tried to look cool and push the mic away and pull it back by pushing down the bottom of the stand with my foot. It hit my face and I bled like crazy, but I kept singing. No one clapped at the end. FML
Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
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Top comments
kaijapapaya 0
Choose not breathing.
alwa7sh 2
Add diarrhea and you have the perfect combination, something coming out of every hole :)
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Comments (87)
faithe92 0
the blood!
momo1972 3
decisions decisions
swampstomper 0
go get a cheap bottle of saline solution & flush your sinuses. then start a humidifier in your room or hang a couple wet towels
vbmg152 19
Bless your heart, honey! Me & my whole family had that crud & it's miserable!!! I hope you feel better soon. :-)
musicismylife21 5
see I would choose nose bleed because that's the easiest thing to deal with...
Prolusive 5
I'd choose to not breathe... it's less messy, or, at least you won't have to clean it up... ;) (that was a joke...) LOLYDIOP
chiqui1331 0
Run your ass to the hospital!
wtfsnickers 1
stop doing coke the nosebleeds will stop
JizzBlitz 0
that sucks! I know exactly how you feel, I'm the same way when I'm sick.
jc302406 3
bitch much?