Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. As I was about to give him head, I saw he had so much left over toilet paper stuck to his nuts. It kind of turned me off but I didn't want to say anything because he's one of the sweetest guys ever. After he nutted, he got up and there was toilet paper crumbs on his bed and ass. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
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Top comments
HelloSirs 14
When they talked about this in Charmin commercials, I never believed them. Learn something new every day.
ElatedEarthling 15
He was probably too wiped out to notice the extra toilet paper. I know it stinks, but it happens. Maybe next time you should just disregard it and stop being so anal.
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Comments (154)
hurley12 30
Groosssssss
KM96 24
Ewww! I can not get them image out of my head!!
FameNFortune 12
Well that's just awkward ...
simoncat 11
Oh my! Ew. Ew. Please- where's the brain bleach you guys keep talking about??
Satoaoi 13
how's that possible not to know you have toilet paper on. ur ass
Dinah182 8
Blame Charmin!
mgrabi01 10
Ewww!!!
frethelt 3
so pretty much all the comments are the same.. eww gross.. and what not. but what if they were in a relationship, living together, and he had come home from a long day? he was tired, they wanted to get intimate before bed, he didnt realize the toilet paper was thier, i dowt he did it on purpose. and for everyone saying he should have "known" it was there, first she dosent describe the size other than a clump and i dont know about you but i dont spread my ass cheeks and look in a mirror after i wipe.. besides he could have been at work when he used the bathroom... how akward would that be...manager walks in... "aa dude what the hell are you doing". and questions on why she grabed his cheek? really? have you ever been in the "throws of passion" or whatever the hell people call it? she said in the post "she" wanted to controll his thrusting.. inless shes on top how many ways is she to do that?
CharresBarkrey 16
Are you ******* kidding me with this spelling? "Dowt?" Really? There is absolutely no way you are 23. You're 12.
DracoSpirita 21
*didn't, there, doubt, awkward, grabbed, throes, control, unless.
DracoSpirita 21
Also don't and she's. I forgot those two. I'm not even going to start on your poor capitalization and punctuation.
thewife5 19
Nice book.. Probably wont get published..
abu4u 26
Oh shit!
cougar41 8
That is so feral. I hope to kicked him off and made him take a shower