Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. As I was about to give him head, I saw he had so much left over toilet paper stuck to his nuts. It kind of turned me off but I didn't want to say anything because he's one of the sweetest guys ever. After he nutted, he got up and there was toilet paper crumbs on his bed and ass. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML
Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML
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Top comments
HelloSirs 14
When they talked about this in Charmin commercials, I never believed them. Learn something new every day.
ElatedEarthling 15
He was probably too wiped out to notice the extra toilet paper. I know it stinks, but it happens. Maybe next time you should just disregard it and stop being so anal.
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Comments (154)
nemoyae 1
nasty
profligatesoul 18
Aren't you supposed to "freshen up" before you get it on?
JulieG65 15
Haha eww!
kristen99 9
Should have listened to Charmin!
Bluemonster3 26
How sexy...
Jebitesevsi 11
Time to change your boyfriend!
mscouten 3
I just up in my mouth a little bit.
Solano2580 24
I don't get why some women enjoy a man's nipple and ass, it just doesn't look appealing, then again I'm a guy so I wouldn't know