Most good songs are

Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML

Today, I found out that the very good-looking woman who sings for one of my favorite bands is actually a guy. FML

Today, my boyfriend of two years, who is a fabulous guitarist and singer, told me he wrote me a song. I was so excited. Turns out it was a break up song. FML

Emotional journey

Today, my love life is so godawful that I started ugly-crying when the song "Love Hurts" began playing on the radio while I was driving. I had to pull over. Several people passing by stopped to see if I needed help. FML

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML

Today, I discovered the importance of having sex before marriage. We found out that my husband is gay on our wedding night. FML

Late bloomer

Today, I learned that the girl I love thinks I'm gay. To be honest, I'm having doubts too. FML

Overrated

Today, out of pure boredom, I decided to listen to the soundtrack from a musical. When I got to the love song, I thought about my anxiety and where I stood with this one guy, and ended up crying to myself. The musical was Jesus Christ Superstar. FML

Ed Sheeran-lite

Today, I phoned my ex, who I only broke up with a week ago. I then told her about the song I'd written about her. I have written a song, but it's shite and I would die of embarrassment if I ever had to play it to her. I’ll have to play it to her and confess my simpy, wet ways. FML