Today, has been a very long day, so I shall simply say there is a car in my bedroom. Yes a car. It's entirely my husband's fault, we have no idea how we're supposed to remove it, and there's oil all down my favourite pyjamas. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, being the man of the house, I decided to work on the car. Long story short, there's a towel in my transmission. FML
Today, my car broke down. Yesterday, my husband mentioned he found my dream car for sale, but I'd insisted my car had a lot of miles left and we should save money. They sold my dream car this morning. Now I'm carless. FML
Today, I was moving in with a housemate who was fixing his car outside. First, my dad was helping me move, but got distracted by the car, then my boyfriend came to help and also got distracted by the car. I've been moving everything by myself. FML
Today, my husband has been painting our house all weekend and plans to finish the job after work today. I decided to surprise him by completing the job myself. Painting the last window frame, I dropped the open tin of white paint, right onto our car roof. FML
Today, my husband decided to drain his motorcycle oil into an empty bottle of laundry detergent. Also today, I decided to lift a stain out of my white comforter with some detergent I found in the garage. FML
Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML
Today, I dreamt that the fabric and pattern I was working on were sliding off the table so I quickly reached to grab it, effectively driving my fingers into my husband's eyes. Fuck his life too. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, my husband was finally moving out. I picked up his enormous duffle bag full of clothes to help get him out faster, and I threw out my back. I now can't move. I can't even wipe my own ass. FML
Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML
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Top comments
sweetbliss3 37
I guess you would remove it the opposite way it got in there. and you're worried about pjs? I'd be more worried about the roof/side of the house. but that's just me.
protoskore 27
Have you tried putting it in reverse?
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Comments (23)
sweetbliss3 37
I guess you would remove it the opposite way it got in there. and you're worried about pjs? I'd be more worried about the roof/side of the house. but that's just me.
alycion 39
Maybe the pjs are part of the curl up in a corner and cry plan.
Dave_Davington 34
Wow, that must really be driving you crazy.
joshszz_fml 27
Is it a racecar bed? A red racecar bed? Joey?? That you Joey?
protoskore 27
Have you tried putting it in reverse?
stormy0307 16
If oil is on the pajamas, moving the car under its own power isn’t a good idea. There is a hole in one of the oil systems.
BurnInDemonFire 39
This is how you remove it: "Dammit, Bumblebee! Get the hell out of my house! Look what you did to our wall! And my pajamas! I don't care that you finally got your own movie! It's made by Travis Knight, so it obviously sucks! No, I'm not going to see it! After what you've done, I'd rather go see Holmes & Watson! Now hurry up and leave! Or do I have to call in the Decepticons?" Or, you know, you might have to hire a very expensive crane.
I am mee 8
clean up the hole and call a tow truck
TumblrweedPasses 11
How did your husband screw up this badly Call a truck to get it out and pray your insurance covers some of this
1ninjanina 7
My dad once drove a car almost all the way through the back of our garage because he was working on the brakes and thought you could substitute transmission fluid for brake fluid. Everything rubber swelled up, and the brakes went out as he was pulling into the garage too fast. He was not mechanically inclined and was very happy when I went to school for automotive.
ohsnapword 21
Please tell me that the 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets are OK.
TheFMLman 5
yo how's he get it in there in the first place
Dave_Davington 34
Though the wall, most likely.
Rachelc09 9
😂😂😂😂😂👌👌
BadKitty13 28
This needs a follow up.