Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out I’m gonna be a father. One day, I accidentally walked in on my sister-in-law changing. For some reason I’ll never understand, we ended up having a quickie doggystyle and swore to not talk about it ever again. She’s now 6 weeks pregnant. I’m a dead man if my wife finds out. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, I got the official word my wife is pregnant. Her sister, who lives with us, is also pregnant. I'm stuck in an apartment with two women due in late 2012. FML
Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML
Today, I found out my soon-to-be husband and father of my unborn child is already married to another man. FML
Today, my sister-in-law announced that she’s pregnant. With my kid. And the doctor thinks it might be twins. FML
Today, I found out wife has two baby daddies for our two kids. I’m neither one’s baby daddy. FML
Today, due to my parents divorcing 30 years ago, marrying other people, and giving me a handful of half siblings, I found myself in the uniquely unpleasant situation of walking in on my sister having sex with my brother. (Stop panicking, they’re not blood related to each other, work it out!) FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, I found out that me and my best friend are both pregnant. We live together, and both had one night stands with the same guy. Now we are going to be each raising his children in the same house while he has decided to "not get involved" and move to a different state. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
So you ****** your wife’s sister and knocked her up, permanently shattering their family relationship the second your wife finds out, and you’re seriously here to whine for sympathy? Dude.
RichardPencil 32
Stick around and be ready to be called "Uncle Daddy." Living with your mistake is probably the most fitting punishment.
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Comments (23)
DarkAngelsBlade 25
So I'm assuming this is because you intentionally cheated on your wife? You did bad dude, you deserve everything ya get and honestly so does her sister. Be a better father than husband.
SirEnigM0nk 22
Hope your job pays well, and you got some (disclosed) investments that earn well. Definitely going to need it to pay child support in perpetuity. Or if you can't, you'll go to jail anyway and Tiny and Momo will take care of you. And FFS get a vasectomy. Castration probably would be useless; there wasn't much there to begin with. But hey, it can't hurt- much.
Farmer1995 4
Be a man, strait to the firing squad