Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a drunk driver crashed in through my living room wall. Not only that, but he managed to completely miss the first two houses on the block, which should have been a barrier before mine. FML
Today, I got out of the wrong side of the bed. Into a wall. FML
Today, I walked into a wall. I've lived in this house for nearly thirteen years, but I walked straight into it. FML
Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML
Today, I came home from work when I heard people in my apartment. My apartment was supposed to be empty, so I entered ready to fight some thieves. I rushed in and hit the closest person to me before the lights switched on. It was a surprise party. I broke my girlfriend's cheek-bone. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
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Top comments
Ugi 27
Well, at least you have a larger apartment now!
DocBastard 40
I'm not sure how it works in China where you're from, but where I live that's called a PARTY. After an incident like that, drunken debauchery is mandatory. I don't make the laws, I just follow them.
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Comments (80)
Golden_Rydes 3
Sounds like a Road Runner and Wyle E. Coyote episode.
ashalayx 13
just get a cat and let it walk into their apartment and pee everywhere ☺️
perdix 31
#22, or eat their fish.
Ugi 27
Shhhhhhh! You'll get us all killed!
perdix 31
#40, hey, it's not like I'm using the comments section to sneak in my multiply-rejected FML submission about me sitting at the coffee shop.
Ugi 27
But look! Even my comment about my comment about the girl with the fish being deleted being deleted has been deleted! Or something.
karlcolt45 19
for real what's up with the comments disappearing. I wish the moderator's would give some kind of explanation instead of just gestapo-ing them away
Ugi 27
You see! It's a conspiracy I tell you!
karlcolt45 19
I'm scared ugi
enddmd 27
#23 - Just let its first prey be their hamster!
evilamoebaattack 20
okay, i'm sorry OP, but HAHAHAHAAHAAAHAHHA! get a better place to stay in, next time.
ChenEighty 20
You don't feel sorry at all...
perdix 31
I hope they had the decency to bring some beer to your place. And I'm referring to the pre-consumed type. Obviously, they are bringing over a lot of post-consumption intoxicants.
foxy_grampa 19
I would say you can call the cops over that, but I'm not to sure about how that works in china. Like I don't know what all they would do for you.
McNikk 15
Picturing this happening just makes me laugh.
PunkySpunky78 15
To op Well yes it does suck but ydi because you chose seedy apt Seedy apt are known for poor quality of walls
StompinOnCrayons 15
Start a beautiful brewing bromance
buckdharma 38
I thought the Chinese were known for being great wall builders.
karlcolt45 19
not if you ask the mongols.
AlwaysWatching 27
Did anybody see all of the empty FMLs with French options??
Ugi 27
From the context, I guess you did.
perdix 31
#41, no, but given your user name, I doubt you are lying.