Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML
Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML
Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that I reminded her of her dad. FML
Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML
Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
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Top comments
_kyleG_ 34
At first, this sounded like she gave you the sex talk in kindergarten... I might be a bad person for this, but THAT would've been funny!
ktm71125 19
We all have weird stories from childhood OP! Except the sex talk might have been awkward.
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Comments (55)
sparklegirl740 6
That is the funniest story EVER!! ?
uglytwin 15
Finally someone from the midwest ?
Hop6e 22
If I saw that boy now I'd slap him. He doesn't realize the extent of the scars he caused, does he?
uhnevermind 24
So you would assault someone because they kissed a girl on the cheek in kindergarten? And those "scars" are usually just called embarrassment.
ShadJV 0
Scars? She didn't even remember the incident, her mother had to tell her the story!
Overlord247 20
Feminazi spotted
1dvos_grl3 21
Haha that's adorable!
brucie1963 4
never too soon to have the talk
TheDanBexfield 26
This is perfectly normal behaviour for a parent. Being one, I should know. Look on the bright side, at least we all now know that kissing a girl on the cheek won't get them pregnant.
remometol 16
Wait, a kiss doesn't get you pregnant!?
HUGBUG 23
I got it when I was 7 so your lucky
anniepotatoes 12
That's so cute
worldclassrager 41
I have to say how do mothers fit the sex talk into about everything...there has to be some way to get around it but I am beginning to think it's not possible
Fou_Lou 20
Its because parents dont want their kids getting sick, pregnant / someone pregnant because their kids think they know whats important but actually dont really have a clue what theyre actually doing and what is actually important.