Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML
Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML
Today, a guy I went out with twice, and slept with once, came knocking on my door, hysterically crying. Apparently his wife found out about “us” and kicked him out. He’s now asking where he can put his stuff, since he’s now homeless. I had no idea he was married, and she’s now looking to fight me. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. I also moved right back out, after I caught him sexting one of his coworkers just a few hours later. FML
Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML
Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML
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Top comments
emleahlie 0
Leave him and tell his ass to get a job.
perdix 31
Are you sure you didn't catch his long-lost twin brother, the one with the terrible accent?
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Comments (155)
Bblock 5
Dude's livin the life. Got no job, a place to live, and 2 bitches.
SadinSherman 16
Well he doesn't really have two bitches anymore
crazyivan118 0
Only in china ;)
wahxoxo98 0
Number One Rule If Life: Don't Ever Call A Girl Your Bitch.
je_suis_fml 11
yup... The life of a loser...
loserman67 36
DROP HIM, DUMP HIM, KICK HIM TO THE CURB, NOW!!!!!!!!!! Why isn't he out looking for a job??? But then again he was looking for a job, a ******** from the ***** he was with on your couch. Tell him that he is free to go to her house and cuddle all day long on her couch (she probably has neither) because you're moving on to find a guy with more maturity, more loyalty, A JOB, and a bigger **** (throw that last one in there to completely emasculate him, he deserves it!)
jessicaaababy 8
I love this comment :)
Shrike 24
I agree, but not on the first part. being unemployed doesn't mean you aren't looking for a job, it's just a shitty economy
jessicaaababy 8
It is but it doesn't mean he shouldn't look for a job. Instead, he's cheating on his girlfriend.
none_for_me 5
Maybe it was a job interview!
Epikouros 32
They're in China, a shitty economy means 9,5% growth there.
monagro 22
Lol, that's quite funny
Lexxya 7
The bright side of this, is that now you know who he is. Time to find a better man!
ndclover 3
I don't get guys who cheat like that. It's funny how the ones who cheat are the ones who complain about women the most...what a ******* idiot. Hopefully this is your apartment which sounds like it is judging by the fact you said he's unemployed and you can kick his ass out.
lemonkittens 8
Kick his ass and throw his unconscious body outside. When he asks what happens, tell him he's dreaming.
leadman1989 16
Lemon kittens would you say something that violent if it were a woman cheating? No? then I think that might be a little misandrous.
olpally 33
Lemon-kittens you are my hero :D
lemonkittens 8
Thanks 87;) and 83, I probably would. A cheater is a cheater. It doesn't matter if they are male or female. A girl cheating is just as bad as a guy cheating.
leadman1989 16
Yes cheater are bad... but violence is worse. Just saying.
TheLetterZero 7
That's what happens when you have bad taste in guys, OP. Quit complaining when it's clear you fancy jerks instead of decent people.
jessicaaababy 8
You know usually all guys seem sweet and amazing in the beginning then you realize they're jerks.
danishbagel 3
Yeah, USUALLY.
missdaulton 0
Dude not her fault guys can be very manipulating and deceiving! You can't judge her by her boyfriend...he is the dumbass, however if she stays with him than she will be promoted to president of the dumbass club!
mattsan1992 0
Usually girls seem sweet and loving and then turn into money sucking bitches. Goes both ways people just ain't what they seem
Capt_Oblivious 10
*waves the hand* "This isn't the boyfriend you were looking for"
katt_is_here 24
Love it.
guckylynn 19
Pretty sure 34 is talking about "ask for my number" in your about me section. That's a bit inappropriate and kinda stupid for the Internet. Good luck with your future murder.
s0m3guy2010 21
OP couldn't have been dreaming, because there is still an L branded on his forehead.
jessicaaababy 8
Find a decent guy wherever they may be! I know I haven't found one yet! :/
jessicaaababy 8
What is that supposed to mean?
Alex94xela 0
I agree desperate bitch is desperate
katt_is_here 24
I think #34 means that you look like a *****. But, I disagree. Having "ask for my number" on your profile page DOES make you look a might desperate though....
katt_is_here 24
Okey dokey.
jessicaaababy 8
Actually I'm not dumb thank you very much. And I'm not a *****. If you're done being rude I'd very much appreciate it
JHS9109 6
Gahh pendatik, get off her nuts. Every comment she makes, you have some smart ass remark for. Chill out. Why do you care what her "about me" says, it isn't yours. And wtf does "Is this the 1950's" mean? Girls can't have a guy that supports them now? What is wrong with that? Sorry you don't have the money to support a girl, but from those of us who do, stfu. Have a good day :)
Shrike 24
^ lol sad ************. you don't have to defend the dumb ***** just because she got your 2 inch dick hard, little boy. and your profile.... "I'm a chill guy"? rofl
jessicaaababy 8
I'm not a dumb *****, you asshole. So **** off, thanks :)
ikickgingers 15
Rawr
JHS9109 6
Shrike- I'm just sayin, this website is all fun, every body here is just tryin to catch a good laugh.. Right? And no, it's not cause she got my "2 inch dick" hard.. You don't know me. ;) so **** you too buddy Pendatik- My family tree is full of VERY intelligent people, VERY successful people, and VERY respected people who have great jobs and have gone to some of the most prestigous colleges around.. So yea, let's not talk about that. Also, no, just no. Sister/aunt, no. But I do have the money/income to support anyone I feel like supporting. And it's not because my parents hand me money. I work for everything I have, so when you pull some smart ass comment to that, go ahead and leave that out of it. ;)
dkn90 0
I like this comment lol :)