Today, after a few days of getting what seemed like an odd, scattered rash every time I showered, I finally figured out the problem. It turns out I wasn't just allergic to all the different soap I tried. Apparently a family of very angry spiders have decided to make my loofah their new home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, I noticed a short, black hair on my loofah. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML
Today, after an extremely stressful day, I took a hot bath when I got home. I used my little sister's bubble bath to make it more enjoyable and relaxing. I then broke out in hives. I guess I'm allergic to bubble bath. FML
Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I'm allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist, and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
Today, I woke up with a rash all across my body. Last night, my boyfriend and I got it on in some bushes, and it seems one of those was poison ivy. FML
Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML
Today, I discovered my washcloths smelled like mushrooms. As I'm allergic to mold, I panicked and spent all day washing every towel and sheet in the house. At last, I went to take a shower and discovered that the mushroom smell was actually emanating from my $5-a-bar organic soap. FML
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Top comments
hellobobismyname 24
I fail to see how a) you couldn't see a whole family of spiders living in your loofah and b) how the family of spiders lived through multiple sessions of you putting soap and water on the loofah and rubbing it vigorously all over your body.
alex_gen 39
Loofahman, Loofahman, does whatever a Loofah can.
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Comments (48)
AverageAvarice 23
Ever since I saw earwigs (yes, plural) crawl out of someone's loofah in my dorm, that is all I can see when I look at one. Nylon scrub towels for life.
talon2301 6
at least they were clean spiders.
lithiumassassin 10
Ahh I knew you lived in California before I even looked. The struggle is real!
88SweetPea88 1
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
jbivens1992 17
You'd think the soap and water not to mention being scrubbed against skin would have killed the spiders. But just the same that's terrible. I would have been a naked mess running through my house screaming for someone to help.
thatonedude55 8
Well that's just ******* terrifying.
SnivyAndroid 8
hope ya don't have arachnophobia OP!
Gigglyrocks 15
I would kill myself omg
writerchic85 26
I don't see how spiders could be giving you rashes all over your body. If they bit you there'd be a mark and a swollen area but I can't see how they could make you break out just by being in your loofah. Maybe you are allergic to your loofah?
manuwish 9
oh..sorry OP, those don't sound like spiders, although they may seem to have eight legs and a round body..please go see a doctor for those insect bites and prepare yourself for a nice chemical visit from pest control.