Lonely boy hiding behind the front door

Today, my parents said they know I don't do drugs or drink because I have no friends to do drugs or drink with. They are right. FML

Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML

The Unmatchmaker

Today, my parents found out that I separately convinced them not to get back together, and now they're not speaking to me. FML

Hangry

Today, my parents were out and about, leaving me alone in the house. They said they would leave some lunch for me. I couldn't find it. After telling them when they got home, my mom got huffy and showed me that it was in a place I would have never thought to look. She then got even more mad when I was annoyed by this. FML

Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, as I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldn't fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML

The Baby-Sitters Club

Today, my parents, my two sisters and their significant others went on a vacation and dropped their children at my house without ever asking me. I'm single, live alone, and can barely make ends meet, and they know it. FML

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

Today, I walked around town by myself for four hours because I was too ashamed to tell my parents that I have no friends willing to spend time with me. FML

Ratted

Today, one of my friends got me in trouble when he called our house and asked my parents why they didn't see us at a school conference. My parents were at a meeting elsewhere at the time, so I didn't bother to tell them about it, as we couldn't have gone there to begin with, and it was voluntary. They're mad anyway. FML