Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML
Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, the man I was going on a dinner date with bought me an expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend came and sat with us. Somehow, the subject of getting it on came up. My date then said, "Expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants." FML
Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I bought and assumed it was a late birthday present. She’s now wearing it on her right hand like a signet ring and she somehow hasn’t figured out it’s a diamond and not a Swarovski. I'm now waiting for her to figure it out before I pop the question. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML
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Top comments
hardcore_fml 0
Why would she know what you meant? Let's go through the conversation. What did you get me for my birthday? I'm going to shoot my load on your neck/chest. Now gauge the excitement upon hearing this news and discover that you're a douche. lol.
Heidi_fml 0
Um... why would she appreciate YOUR meaning as a birthday gift? Disgusting.
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Comments (214)
TheAntiComment 0
needless to say she didn't receive her present after that spectacular surprise
calikola 0
Dude, you're going to have to go out and buy her an actual pearl necklace now, if you ever want to save face with the Dad. That way she can show it off to him, and he'll breathe a sigh of relief.
tkdgold03 5
deffff agreeee! smart!
shiaii 0
haha that's funny shit, i think that you should hurry and buy her a real one, so she's not disappointed. even if she does like a load shot on her neck, she is probably disappointed she didn't get an ACTUAL necklace.
vitaminsandminer 0
why would that be a good present for her?? and at #7, if she did enjoy that sort of thing she would probably know what a peal necklace was and would have been excited for it and known not to say anything to her dad, but i have no idea what girl would ewww
Ready_set_owned 0
Pathetic, learn to be a man before you date.
SuzieLovesYou 0
I think that's disgusting and I totally agree with #12. You're a douche.
pitts_the_shit 0
OLOLOOLLOLOL HOW COULD YOU BE DEGRADING TOWARDS WOMEN LIKE THAT YOU RUDE RUDE MAN!?
arms_akimbo 0
Well now you have to get a real one, or you're probably gonna get beaten up a fair bit.
IAlwaysFail 0
AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA holy shit, that has to be one of the funniest ones!!!
VexVisnu 0
I'm with #7. I don't understand why most of you here think he's a douche or why you think it's disgusting. My girlfriend digs stuff like that. It's mostly just a play on submissive and subservient behavior. There are plenty of girls that like being dominated/used. Some of you are just ignorant.