Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML
Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, the man I was going on a dinner date with bought me an expensive necklace. We got to the table he had reserved when his friend came and sat with us. Somehow, the subject of getting it on came up. My date then said, "Expensive jewelry - one way ticket to her pants." FML
Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I bought and assumed it was a late birthday present. She’s now wearing it on her right hand like a signet ring and she somehow hasn’t figured out it’s a diamond and not a Swarovski. I'm now waiting for her to figure it out before I pop the question. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home and announced that she'd just bought a $40 pair of flipflops. She then declared that I wouldn't be getting a birthday gift this year due to budget shortfalls. For hers a month prior, I'd got her a $300 piece of jewelry. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML
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Top comments
hardcore_fml 0
Why would she know what you meant? Let's go through the conversation. What did you get me for my birthday? I'm going to shoot my load on your neck/chest. Now gauge the excitement upon hearing this news and discover that you're a douche. lol.
Heidi_fml 0
Um... why would she appreciate YOUR meaning as a birthday gift? Disgusting.
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Comments (214)
skladek 0
hahahaha #12, I just died a little bit. I don't know of any girl who would be excited by that.
mrstomkaulitz 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I would! :) lol jk
Tucatz 0
And her dad knew what it meant, didn't he? If you use such euphemisms you need to make sure that the other person knows what you're talking about. Did she know that you were intending to blow a load on her face and neck? Or were you just going to spring that on her? You Massengill factor is off the charts. Truly a douche of the worst sort.
Jeroen041 0
hahahahah :P
pommeblossom 0
Disgusting.
Amkii 0
Haha....ew. Let's hope her dad was thinking the innocent way, too.
AntiqueTurquiose 0
well, did you get her anything other than sexual favors? if not, then you should buy her a real pearl necklace for making her think you had something great to give her.
paniclovie 0
Wrong on so many levels.
jm88 0
Some of you guys dont have a sense of humor =(
mixedcookies 1
Haha I know right xD
shady_angel 0
#21, nah its just discusting, look at it frm the gfs point of view.....i agree with #12
holynemesis1208 3
you got her a facial instead, didnt you? haha.
TheLoneTurnip 0
NICE! :D