Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML
Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML
Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, a guy was telling me how his girlfriend considers me a "perfect beauty." Not used to getting this sort of compliment every day, I felt extremely flattered… until he started explaining in great detail why he couldn't disagree with her more. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML
Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML
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Top comments
hekinokuroihi 20
Well, apparently he's into that. Maybe he meant your pecks?
iLike2Teabag 27
Who doesn't love perky ****?
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Comments (98)
StiffPvtParts 43
Maybe he's friends are homophobic? Most of mine would instantly push me away if they thought I was gay, but that's because I'm from a mostly homophobic country. And I don't imagine coming out as gay to all your friends to be the easiest of things, so maybe just give him some time :c PS. Just to avoid any possible confusion, I'm not gay, but neither do I have anything against people who are.
sstahpp 33
Sounds like he's not that gay :/
Jesse_Bitch 9
This is sad. Sorry OP
PropelledFeline 5
OP?
foxwasalamb 24
op means octopus plague. that helpful?
Jesse_Bitch 9
haha!
cadillacgal79 32
Don't listen to 42 35, OP stands for Orangutan penis.
AHotCupOfCoffee 28
2 nice compliments and 1 thing you're apparently self concious about but he accepts and loves from you. Where's the FML again?
teamnikster 9
Compliments are compliments, OP:) I think I would be happy that he's bragging and not making fun of me, if I was in your situation. Try to see if from his POV:) he loves you, everything about you, even what you consider a flaw.
somechick8266 14
at least he has no complaints. if he likes it there's nothing to be insecure about :)
purelymixed 17
This ***** just gay
hvm 1
Maybe he doesn't know you're both men?
royal_ranger 12
What?...
Kazze 31
I'm SURE that's the reason.
hvm 1
Sigh, no-one gets my jokes...
gabobi91 19
It just wasn't funny.
TallMist 32
I didn't get the joke.
vikky538 29
that's twisted kinky...
Galamond 10
For an instant, I thought his boyfriend was cheating on him with a girl.
_Bair_K_ 11
Me too
lndala 15
That possibility isn't out the window. The boyfriend could be bi.