Today, I discovered that when they remove your cancerous prostate, your penis will shrink by the exact length of the removed prostate back up into your body. So not only do I now need pills to get a boner, my boner has shrunk from a respectable 5 inches to just under 3. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML
Today, after 40+ years of marriage, I got Peyronie's disease. Thankfully, the missus is understanding. After months of treatment, the painful bend is a bit less so, but the scar tissue that causes the bend also does not expand. Because of this, I have lost a full 5 cm / 2 inches in length when erect. FML
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
Today, after I was shot in the hip years ago and the doctors left the bullet inside, they damn well better remove the bullet now because over the last 10 years, it's moved enough to start compressing a nerve, so now my penis is numb to all sensation, and I can’t get a boner anymore. FML
Today, after surgery on my penis, I’m on drugs to prevent erections. My girlfriend now thinks it’s hilarious to walk around naked, bend over in front of me, and do other sexy stuff, because she knows I can’t do anything to her and it’s killing me. In three weeks, her ass is mine. FML
Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, thanks to the hormone treatments for my cancer, I have gained so much weight I am now officially the punchline for “How does a fat man find his penis? With a mirror on a stick and an erection.” FML
Today, after years of impotence, I woke up with a raging boner. I was so happy until I remembered my wife divorced me last year because of my impotence. This depressed me so much that I couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to masturbate, and the boner went bye bye, never to return. FML
Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
Current medical research suggests that prostate removal does not have permanent effects on length. It’ll pop back out within 12 to 24 months. And even if it didn’t, would you rather be short lying down or actually, literally dead?
49_Donuts 15
Dude, you’re still alive. Take the win
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Comments (4)
Anderling 33
Current medical research suggests that prostate removal does not have permanent effects on length. It’ll pop back out within 12 to 24 months. And even if it didn’t, would you rather be short lying down or actually, literally dead?
49_Donuts 15
Dude, you’re still alive. Take the win
Sdog 6
Sorry bro. Hope you make piece with this.
mike3775 39
I’d rather be shorter than dead.