Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. A couple of cute girls started talking to me, telling me how much they liked my dreads. Seeing this, my mother stepped up next to me, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "This here is my little baby, treat him nicely!" Thanks, Mom. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, my parents asked me if my girlfriend of two years and I wanted to go see a musical with them. I haven't told them that she broke up with me the day after she met them. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I talked to my boyfriend's dad for the first time. One of the first things that he said to me was, "So, I hear you're a screamer." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
brit8741 0
All is can say is... Bahahahahahahahah You made my morning (:
Mesocoollike 8
Haha, awesome!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
rasellersjr 0
With my ex-wife the neighbor called the police cuz they thought I was killing her. I was a cop at the time. Rather awkward when my co-workers showed up...
jmcr 27
That's embarassing
jmcr 27
That's embarassing
RedPillSucks 33
OP, it could have been worse. It could have been one of your male friends that said that. Or the response could have been "So's your mom".
Delorean_Fanatic 0
BURN!!!!
ParaCabXD 0
so why would you keep going if your parents were home?
mrjude 3
Look, at least they don't think you're a virgin, a shut-in, gay, or anything else that is incorrect. Besides, your dad will likely give you a high five when you're mom isn't looking.
mola_mola 3
explain incorrect please :)
courtney680 17
Agreed
stewie1744 0
total ******* awesomeness bro. you got kickass parents
rainyyshmainyy 2
Bahahaha. Awkwardd.
starwarsguy330 0
ok, thats badass
kickboxingchick 5
*You, *your, *girlfriend, *you, *information.