Today, while babysitting a five year-old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, I was babysitting my niece and let her watch cartoons on YouTube while I cooked dinner. She screamed as I was cutting up carrots and I cut myself. She had turned on an episode of Happy Tree Friends and was now crying and wouldn't stop. My brother thumped me for not watching her. I now have a cut hand and black eye. FML
Today, I can’t get over that my husband will watch children’s movies all by himself, even though we don’t have kids. Seriously, I brought a friend over today and when we walked in he was drinking beer, watching a cartoon movie about a ladybird-themed superhero girl. It was so embarrassing. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML
Today, a noisy little kid in the bus seated behind me asked his mom loudly, "Why is that big man watching cartoons for girls?" Me and the guy next to me, who too was watching on his phone, paused for a bit. He smirked, shaking his head, laughing under his breath. He was watching anime; I was watching My Little Pony. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter for my two kids for the evening. When I came home, I found her sitting on the floor, crying with a full bowl of popcorn, watching a kids' movie. Apparently, my six-year-old had decided to re-enact every scene from the movie, and she couldn’t take it anymore. I had to hug her and assure her that she was doing a great job. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
stinewd 9
you're gonna be a cool parent!
crotchpheasant 0
I'm dr roxxo the rock and roll clown! I do c-c-c-cocaine! let's go get some ice c-c-c-cream and hookersss! yeahhh! this is what that kid got to hear.let's hope he doesnt ask for a hooker next time they take him for ice cream hahaha
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (465)
Myrotinsei 6
Hahahaha!! Dr. Rockso the rock and roll clown! Gotta love metalocalypse!
Stiffilz 0
he probably wouldn't have understood it so I wouldn't stress too much but learn your lesson for next time and laugh about it with friends!
portablecupid 3
How the **** would you not know that a show with a hybrid title of the words "metal" and "apocalypse" wasn't for children? ******* dumbass.
mnkyc_mnkydo 5
i dont see how you could accidentally do that, its on "adult swim" and the name comes from metal apocalypse. believe it or no i think that was one of the better ones a small child could see. the kid may not have know whats going on, i dont think that episode has as much swearing, sex, blood, gore, and pointless violence in it as other episodes do.
lisha88 1
you better hope he doesnt tell his parents what he saw lol
creamcheese724 0
are you kidding me!?!? this isn't in during they day why are you making dinner at midnight
m0nicaa055 0
just dont have kids....
s0uthpawsh00ter 0
Dr. Roxo does cocaine!
steelrain0811 0
I love that show and the clown is Dr.Rockso..,great choice!!
hazardoussmiles9 22
That's okay. My parents let me watch a whole season of Family Guy when I was six before realizing it was for adults. I clearly remember watching it with my parents and it saying 'adult swim', so my parents got all mad because they let me watch it, while I was trying to explain how 'adults should swim away' the entire time.