Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML
Today, my husband asked if we could have more sex, because we spend every day together, but if he wanted celibacy, he’d have stayed single and spent time with his friends. He then pulled out a diary proving we’ve only had sex twice this year. I was completely unaware it was so infrequent. Whoops. FML
Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML
Today, I told my husband I was horny and wanted to get it on. He agreed but first he had to finish the chapter he was reading, watch his show on Netflix, argue with strangers on Facebook, then do his workout. He had the nerve to cop an attitude when I was no longer in the mood. FML
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, my husband was not in the mood for sex. He told me this while masturbating. FML
Today, I complained to my girlfriends that my husband constantly wants me to explore his disgusting perversions, like making me call him "Daddy" or putting me on a leash. They all started discussing all the nasty things they'd let my husband do, then said he should find a sidepiece who's "less boring." FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
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Top comments
fakedsincerity 32
Some people just have incompatible sex drives. He's wrong to call you names for expressing what you need to be happy. I hope you guys can talk it out and compromise so you're both happy and can have your needs met.
magikarpsmurfs 19
I think it's time to discuss with your husband that people not just yourself have needs. Those needs are normal & should be taken care of by those committed to you. AKA your husband.
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Comments (144)
dakatabg 31
Wow, a big inconvenience for him
Cads1 24
Join him in the shower and talk about the first thing that pops up.
nanjiii_fml 26
goddamn !!! it's so saaad !!!
briang959 47
Hopefully he's just playing hard to get.
theTravinator 21
Or maybe he's playing because he can't get hard. ZING!
JMichael 26
Very unusual for a man in my opinion.
captainsmegma 12
If I can be of any service, please call I'm available any of those other 29 days.
CuteKoalaGirl 18
Say what?? I'd prefer it more than one a DAY for goodness sake! I am so sorry OP. I wonder what he'd say for me!
Polynomial 28
Anyone that hits on this girl, get's my thumb down their throat. That's right, it's opposable ... and I have two? My attempt at shivelry has failed.
siggy_mcsigx 22
shivelry....that made me laugh out loud xD I for one forgive you, but it's Chivalry.
LarissaT18 18
Everyone is different. I dont understand why they think it's "unusual" for a man not to want sex all of the time and that something "must" be wrong with him. It could also be due to stress or many other things but that doesn't mean there has to be one specific reason. Although he shouldn't be calling her names.
Kurby14 21
hope you two can work things out so your both happy!
Attacksloth 33
Maybe he's just that type of person? Was he always like this? Was this more of a recent thing? Anything happen in his or your life? Tension between you two other than the sex? Etc. If it's been going on forever, he's probably just got a low libido. If it's more recent, you should talk to him. Avoid being overly confrontational, just keep communication pathways open.