Today, while eating breakfast with my family, I asked my mother if there was any more scrambled eggs in the skillet because I really felt like having some more. She got mad at me because she thought I'd asked in a sarcastic manner. I wasn't joking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML
Today, I woke up in a good mood, and I excitedly shared with my mom that I was in a "wonderful mood." Her response was to yell at me because she’s "had it with my fucking sarcasm." She refuses to believe I wasn’t being sarcastic. Day ruined. FML
Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML
Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML
Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate, "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
Today, my mother had just got home and we were both in the kitchen. She then starts to get out food and I smelled deviled eggs. Delighted, I asked, "Do I smell deviled eggs?" She turned around laughing and announced she'd farted. I effectively got hungry from my mother’s fart. FML
Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML
Today, my mother gave me a reprimand for my table manners when I didn't ask for someone to pass the vegetables I could have gotten myself. She then let out a raunchy fart at the table, and had the nerve to yell, "Did you ask to be excused?!" as I vacated the area. FML
Today, my parents were out and about, leaving me alone in the house. They said they would leave some lunch for me. I couldn't find it. After telling them when they got home, my mom got huffy and showed me that it was in a place I would have never thought to look. She then got even more mad when I was annoyed by this. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I guess I'd starve to death at your house. I'm sure your family would be SO happy to have me as a visitor. I'll bet the scrambled eggs are ******' amazing!
Yummi_913 18
Your mom has some serious issues.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
I guess I'd starve to death at your house. I'm sure your family would be SO happy to have me as a visitor. I'll bet the scrambled eggs are ******' amazing!
Yummi_913 18
Your mom has some serious issues.
WhataStrangeTripThisIs 24
Huh? I would love it if my picky child asked for seconds!
Chazzster 32
Obviously OP never cooks. You don’t leave extras of scrambled eggs in the pan because eggs cook quickly and at relatively low heat, so any eggs left in the pan would wind up overdone. On the other hand asking for more of something you liked is not usually cause for a shit hemorrhage. Mom must either have issues or be on the edge for some other reason. On the other hand, these are tough times with the pandemic and people facing hard economic times or just feeling cooped up and not able to get out. So maybe cut Mom a little slack on this one.