Today, I received numerous text messages from my parents asking where I was and how worried they are. I was in my room, they didn't even notice me walk in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a message from front desk that my concerned father is trying to contact me. I call only to hear that my parents were freaking out that I wasn't answering my phone. They saw me 9 hours ago. They were going to call the police. I'm in college and also don't live with them anymore. FML
Today, I moved out of my parents' house and started living alone. All of a sudden, my parents started requiring me to text or call them every 5 minutes to tell them where I am and what I'm doing, from 6am to 12am every day. If I don't, they will go looking for me, and force me to move back in with them. FML
Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you OK? You seemed depressed earlier." FML
Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML
Today, my mom and dad went off somewhere for some alone time together. My mom had apparently turned her phone off and my dad left his at home. In that span of time, my brother had accidentally locked himself out of his house, and my sister was also trying to get a hold of them, and now are asking me where they're at. FML
Today, my parents left me several frantic voicemails early this morning about the hurricane, totally in a panic that I wasn’t safe. I called them when I woke up and told them I was fine. They were actually angry that I wasn't in the eye of the storm, because they “worried for nothing.” FML
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, my mother knocked on the door of my room at 7am. I am currently over 300 miles from home, on a vacation to get away from my overbearing family. I told none of them where I was going. FML
Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML
Today, my mother panicked and was about to report me missing when I didn't answer her calls while I was at a movie. I'm 31, and have lived on my own for over 10 years. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
They were worried about your silent, ninja walking. How are they going to enjoy having hot, noisy sex when the kid could suddenly glide in on them unnoticed? They need to put a bell around your neck.
TraceCase_ 19
Should have messed with them and asked for a ride home...then gave them detailed directions to your room.
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Comments (132)
Xxlaurahatakexx 9
Yeah they didn't notice you,but they cared enough to worry n text you. Not an fml
Xxlaurahatakexx 9
Whyd I get Moderated? So confused:(
kjcookie10 9
Real observant parents you have!
shovels 0
They were just trollin'
bitchslapped22 14
42- you must really like shovels
kjcookie10 9
I totally just read my comment in Yoda's voice... Tehe! ;)
shovels 0
58- What makes you say that?
aceman1992 9
Either you have a really big house, or parents who don't care when you come and go.
margie2194 12
Maybe they were just really busy... :) Obviously they care about you enough, OP to worry about your well-being :)
crossfier 0
Or both
aceman1992 9
18- I never considered that possibility, you just blew my mind.
xFullMoonHeartx 7
They obviously care when OP comes and goes because of the numerous worried text messages. OP is just a ninja.
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Hey my parents constantly forget my name or call me by my brother's name
DKjazz 20
Exactly! I read this FML as "Today, I'm a ninja. FML."
GovernorGeneral 8
Oh my lord OP, give me your powers *-* i cant even walk to my room with a bag of chips without having my mom spot it and call me back to share xD
CremeEggs 6
You don't share chocolate, chocolate shares you.
TraceCase_ 19
Sounds like they were concerned about you...what more do you want? Maybe they were too busy texting you to notice you walk in.
Jamialia 5
It's happened to me before too. Don't stress
22jrdn55 15
How's this a bad thing, invisibility, you can just walk to any party any time, no questions asked.
shovels 0
I don't think invisibility is the FML. I think it's the fact that OP is one of those people that you never know whether they're there or not.
22jrdn55 15
"...they didn't even notice me walk in." I don't know about you, but that screams invisible to me!
shovels 0
43- you outsmarted me yet again :/
ninjabird1 0
Not when you have crazy parents that keep track of where you are for every second of the day.. This happens to me all the time... Except I'll be sleeping and wake up to voicemails from my mom threatening to call the police if I dont answer my phone or come home.
perdix 31
They were worried about your silent, ninja walking. How are they going to enjoy having hot, noisy sex when the kid could suddenly glide in on them unnoticed? They need to put a bell around your neck.
GoW_Chick 15
.... or they can go high tech and implant a tracker in OP so that when their near the house they will get an alert on their phone, I'm sure they have an app for that.
perdix 31
#34, yes, that would be creepier, yet more effective. Also, I replied to your comment on the wheelchair guy story.
Ha1r1nY0S0up 15
That comment made me laugh more than the FML xD Thank you perdix my god of this strange yet amusing website
GovernorGeneral 8
Hes just like a ninja fart. Quiet but deadly. ( idk how why hes deadly i just said that cause it fit dont hate D:< )
InsanityShard 23
My stepdad has tinnitus- I literally got a big dog collar with a bell so he could hear me walking up to him because I kept making him jump. XD Also helps if you're listening to music in a store and wander off to look for something. Just listen for the bells! (Disclaimer: Does not work in pet stores, anywhere playing Jingle Bells, on small children or in loud overcrowded places)
ImInYourFACEbook 8
OP I think you forgot to mention that you're half ninja. No one ever notices ninjas.
Poser1337 5
Ninja's can't tell people they're ninja's. It's forbidden.
GovernorGeneral 8
Im a ninja. Shh. Dont tell anyone. Im forbidden to tell anyone im a ninja. So please keep it a secret. I beg you.
duckie227 22
Did you think to say 'hi' when you got home?
Awsumuzzie 12
I used to get yelled at and grounded if I didn't...
izzie2899 6
Woah. Your parents are strict....
SammehDx 6
You'd think that would help but I still say hi and my family doesn't remember/notice me and then freaks out anyway lol
Awsumuzzie 12
Annoying,crazy, anything that describes "caring(strict)" parents.
Allhallowseve7 5
My dad just jokes about letting the family dog bite my ankles. This is a tiny Shih Tzu, by the way...
ohmandapants 17
Maybe instead of walking straight to your room, you should actually greet people when you enter your house. This is not totally their fault. They didn't hear the door opening and you should have said hello or something. Edit: 9 beat me to it
duckie227 22
Only because I asked it in less words haha
GovernorGeneral 8
But slow and steady wins the race D: She should have more likes cause she put the time and effort into writing that D: D:
TraceCase_ 19
Should have messed with them and asked for a ride home...then gave them detailed directions to your room.
RightKindOfWrong 4
Genius.
TraceCase_ 19
So, yeah, after you plow through the kitchen and drive on up the stairs, you're gonna make the first left, just past the ceiling fan. If you pass the bathroom, turn around, you've gone too far.
Lanceeden 12
Sneak skill: 99.