Keep the change

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

Today, a woman came into my life and took all I had left in the world. The woman was my hair stylist. She took my hair and the last of my money. FML

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

Today, a customer came in to the Pizza store where I work and complained that the food they had purchased had a strand of black hair in it. After some deliberation, my boss decided to fire me. He is the only staff member there with black hair. I shaved my hair 2 weeks ago. FML

Today, I got a haircut, and after thanking the stylist I went up front to pay. The lady behind the counter took one look at me, smiled, and said, "Well, now you'll need a hat." FML

Today, I paid $50 for a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hairdresser was drunk. FML

Today, as I was waiting in line at the check out, some guy came up behind me, plucked a hair out of my head, and ran off with it. FML

Gross

Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML

Assumptions

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills. She said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

Cash

Today, I was at work when a customer, who was going to pay for her groceries, started sorting through her money. She put some coins in her mouth, seemed to suck on them for a while, and then gave them to me. FML