Intimacy Keep it down - FML

Keep it down

lukas - 11/01/2014 00:24 - Canada - Lyndhurst

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

56 061

8 499

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

TooLoud - 31/05/2015 00:12 - United States - Moorpark

Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML

46 163

3 013

AirOne - 12/11/2008 14:39 - United States

Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML

50 705

10 840

Bitches, amirite?

Sergeant Bri - 16/07/2023 09:00 - United States - Norwood

Today, my dog is much too fond of barking at me loudly and at length for no reason. So is my girlfriend. FML

621

299

Barking Mad - 04/08/2013 11:21 - Australia - Revesby

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

60 941

7 715

Can't wait for the next time

cowboy_gold - 25/01/2020 05:00

Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML

2 143

573

Anonymous - 02/07/2016 04:17 - United States - Hayward

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

18 150

3 826

pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

54 344

5 916

Good night, sleep tight

sleepy - 01/07/2019 02:10

Today, I was trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my next-door neighbor's baby began to cry. I closed the window and rolled over, unable to hear the crying anymore. My dog's hearing is better than mine, and so he started barking. Goodbye, good night's sleep. FML

1 688

205

Quiet

Deborah - 27/10/2011 06:41 - United States

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

16 859

40 570

Yappy neighborhood

Anonymous - 14/04/2020 14:00

Today, I don't think my neighbours realize that, by getting that dog they have been wanting, they ruined the peace and quiet of the entire neighbourhood, consisting of ten houses. I'm the person underneath whose window that dog barks every day - mostly when I'm either trying to fall asleep or wanting to sleep in. FML

1 706

388

JasonUMN 15

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:28

You're taking doggy style to a whole different level!

syki 22

Saturday 11 January 2014 5:26

May I suggest a muzzle?

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Tuesday 14 January 2014 1:40

You're getting laid regularly enough for it to be a problem with your neighbor. Don't complain.

icepick23 12

Wednesday 15 January 2014 16:54

Your girlfriend is loud during sex. That is awesome!

fanofthrones 1

Thursday 16 January 2014 0:56

THAT IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF A PROBLEM!!!

Shehulk23 4

Monday 20 January 2014 16:24

Bitches, man.

msdtreadwell 15

Sunday 11 January 2015 5:39

Didn't have the GUTS you mean ha

iwusinger47 2

Thursday 23 April 2015 21:59

Sounds like a good problem to have to me!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

31 902

4 476

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

39 614

9 333

Today, my eight-year-old brother told his classmates that I have cancer. Nope, just really bad acne. FML

35 750

2 657

Today, I escaped an abusive relationship, only for him to manipulate my family into thinking i’m crazy. FML

1 248

128

Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML

88 743

7 388

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that my 12 year-old daughter had to get in the driver's seat to order from the drive-thru. FML

11 786

2 866