Today, my demented asswipe of a lab partner thought it'd be funny to replace the birthday gift I bought for my girlfriend with the large intestine of a recently-dissected dog. My girlfriend nearly fainted when she opened the gift box, and accused me of planning the whole thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, my coworker had been distraught over not being able to keep his dog after his divorce, so trying to be sweet, I'd ordered a specially-made stuffy that looked like it. I put it on his desk with a note and cookies. He thought I was mocking him and threw the plate at me. FML
Today, it was our 5th anniversary, so I decided to play a little joke on my girlfriend. Before I gave her the real present, an engagement ring, I gave her a gift-wrapped rolling pin instead. I ended up in the hospital. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed at me for throwing away her food, calling me a sick, controlling psycho. When I pointed out that the seafood pasta I tossed was a week old and almost certainly rotten, she dug the box out of the trash and ate it to prove a point. Now she's got food poisoning and somehow it's my fault. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, I learned that my husband “accidentally” let the dog out and allowed her to be eaten by an alligator because I got a male coworker, who is also a good friend of mine, a birthday present. We had an argument about our friendship, which apparently bothers him. I’d had that dog since I was a junior in high school. FML
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
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Top comments
Nordrag 26
As far as pranks go, anything that ***** with a gift for someone else is taking it to far.
slooby_fml 25
Create an...experiment...for your lab partner
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Comments (65)
EnterSandman_fml 20
Either way, who knows if OP has the guts to go through with such a dastardly deed?
Axel5238 29
While this sucks for the OP I really wonder what he has done that she thinks he would actually plan something like this. I think there is more to this if she thinks he'd plan this, what kind of pranks has the OP done to his gf?
EvilUndead 9
Now you're obliged to kill your lab partner, after he publicly apologizes to your girlfriend.
Pinkgal123 24
Make lab guy explain to your GF.
Pinkgal123 24
Girlfriend do that cause they want to cause drama . Once your world gets boring(which girls get often, I should no I'm a girl, the do that.) they need a little acting & stuff.
MzZombicidal 36
Not all girls act like petty teenagers when they're bored. Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you can speak for the majority.
rocker_chick23 27
#55: Speak for yourself. No girl I know does anything like that.
falconpoke007 10
Yeah, because giving your girlfriend (or boyfriend) an intestine of an animal is a really good joke. Make sure to play that prank on April Fools, EVERYONE will laugh.
swordidfate 13
I'm curious what happened to the real gift, there could be some theft charges in the making here
undertaker1099 2
that's not even cool
RhineBl 17
WHAT THE ****. YOU WIN. NO ONE ELSE CAN TOP THIS.
LoZelda123 20
Question; how the hell did he ever gain access to your girlfriend's birthday present?!