Today, to punish my wife for disrespecting me in front of my friends, I told her I wasn't going to help with the baby tonight. When I woke up, she and my baby were gone with nothing more than a text saying she was speaking to a divorce lawyer. Over one night. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML
Today, I signed the divorce papers my wife gave me. When I went to bed, she was on the phone talking to her new boyfriend. FML
Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML
Today, I helped deliver the baby belonging to the woman my husband left me for. FML
Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML
Today, I really tried to talk to my wife how I feel that she hates me and is with me out of pity. She denied it all but by the end of the conversation mentioned she wants a divorce. FML
Today, my wife screamed, cried, called me lazy and a bad parent, and threatened to leave and take our four kids. All I did was ask for an hour to myself every day for some private time. FML
Today, I broke it off with my mistress so that I could work on my marriage. Shortly after, my wife received an anonymous message, saying that I'd been unfaithful. FML
Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML
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Top comments
Ghostrui 31
"Over one night" Or rather, the straw that broke the camel's back most likely.
sirrubberduckie 37
First, you don't punish someone you're in a relationship with, because that's gross and dysfunctional and you can do better. Second, that's your baby and your responsibility, not something you get to pick and choose to help with, like you're doing her a big favor. You're lucky she ever put up with you, because it doesn't sound like you deserve it.
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Comments (8)
Charlie Given 28
Good for her, you're a manchild & She and the child deserves better than you!
Ghostrui 31
"Over one night" Or rather, the straw that broke the camel's back most likely.
sirrubberduckie 37
First, you don't punish someone you're in a relationship with, because that's gross and dysfunctional and you can do better. Second, that's your baby and your responsibility, not something you get to pick and choose to help with, like you're doing her a big favor. You're lucky she ever put up with you, because it doesn't sound like you deserve it.
angus 17
You are an idiot
FluffythePink 24
It's the 'I have no idea what I did' tone that gets me. Guy treats his gf and mother of his kid like absolute shit and then stands there in genuine confusion when she has the self respect to just walk away. Of course he did nothing wrong in the slightest...
49_Donuts 15
‘For disrespecting me in front of my friends’ - How insecure are you that you’d say something like this to your wife. YDI
Hangryko 32
"The divorce came out of nowhere!" 🤡 Stupid manchild. I hope you will have to pay huge amounts of child support and alimony for a very long time, with court mandated therapy (out of your pockets, of course).
rpy13 13
Oh, my dude… no no no… it’s not over one night. You sound like you behave like an ass AAAALLLL the time. Luckily for her, it’s the LAST night. Enjoy the suck!