Today, for the first time in 8 months, I got laid and it was amazing. Unfortunately, it's kicked my latent sex drive into hyperdrive. Best part? No idea when I might have sex again, so apparently I just have to live with being ragingly horny for the foreseeable future. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have realised that since I get laid so infrequently, every time I have sex now, it kickstarts my period. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, after months of successfully taking strides to boost my long diminished libido, I found out my girlfriend, who always had a healthy sex drive, has now lost hers. Oh, how the tables have turned. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, after several grueling weeks at the gym, my moribund sex drive suddenly kicked into high gear. All I want is for my husband to fuck me senseless, but he's now convinced I'm just trying to butter him up before dropping a bombshell. FML
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
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Top comments
sarahcroy20 12
Take care of yourself. Atleast you know it will be done right.
diraven 15
Try lowering your standards so you'll accept mediocre sex like the rest of us.
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Comments (8)
sarahcroy20 12
Take care of yourself. Atleast you know it will be done right.
diraven 15
Try lowering your standards so you'll accept mediocre sex like the rest of us.
Sara Niemantsverdriet 12
Try using your hand. At least you should get where you want to go every time that way
KingAdrock 16
Buy a vibrator and quit complaining.
JasonThorn 23
There is a Chinese phrase used when they speak of of an addict trying to get the same intensity and enjoyment of the first time they tried a drug, recognizing that tolerance would make it nearly impossible. They called it "chasing the dragon." You may never forget your first time, but don't make your desire for 30 seconds of ecstasy cause you to make a decision that will alter your life.
bobsanction 18
Get something that runs on batteries.
spinspinsugar 12
just keep ******* the same person? unless it was a one night stand and you'll never see this person again?
gavo 8
i feel your pain! 👊💦