Today, I came home from a four-day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she's been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML
Today, I secretly took a day off work, since I had to use up my vacation, and wanted a "me day." My wife called, and I was ready to pretend to be at work. Too bad the cat decided to come up behind me and meow loudly, alerting my wife that I was home. She's pissed. FML
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
Today, and for the past few months, my cat has taken to yelling at me whenever I walk into the room he's in. I have no idea what he's so bent out of shape about, and I couldn't even make a reasonable guess as to why. FML
Today, my incredibly needy rescue cat - who knows she doesn't get to go into my bedroom at night - decided that she needed to wail and scratch the bedroom door from midnight until 5 a.m. Now that I'm awake, she's ignoring me because she knows I'm mad at her. FML
Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML
Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, I've known for a while that my cat can sense when I'm not feeling good, as she gets more clingy than usual. I've been a bit under the weather as of late, not really sick, but just a little off, and she keeps meowing nonstop and refuses to leave me alone for any reason whatsoever. I'm honestly very concerned now. FML
Today, since getting the new kitten that only I wanted, it has scratched me and peed on my socks, my side of the bed and my laptop. It loves my husband though, who was against getting a cat at all. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
H8rSk8r 0
That's a pretty sour pussy if you ask me!
FFML_314 12
That's because your husband bad talks you to the cat while you're gone. They're plotting. Be careful. WEAR SOCKS!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (128)
Peacemaker9 7
lol husband found a new bitch!!!! btw I'm not saying op is one either!!!
redrovaa 0
Wow, yes we get it!!!
pwincessa23 1
actually, he found a new pussy. a bitch is a dog...
bethan1 4
Well clearly while your pussy was gone your husbans paid more attention to that pussy and now that your pussy is back the other pussy is upset because
bethan1 4
Now your pussy will get all the attention that the other pussy would have got. (Accidently posted that last one before I was done with it)
zuuzuu_fml 0
haha LOVE IT!
hpfan777 0
it is hilarious
FMLsohardithurts 0
cats are like *****....... have one over for a night, they will try to **** your husband soon after.
Pastor_Rich 0
is that a Halloween mask?... it's scary
firefighterazz 0
that doesn't even make sense u tool
persianlovaaa691 0
omgsh yure dp scared me!
shea627 20
maybe its one of those things where your cat senses your husband is sick and is protecting him. it's not uncommon.
VertigoSD 0
I think your cat has stolen your husband lmfao.
chelsey76 6
Hahaha this IS hilarious!! sorry op xD btw...after the first or second pussy pun, it gets kind of old...you people think you're sooo witty..
Jessi2487 0
ur cat stole ur husband lol
SummerRuby 1
Make sure that little f*cker is declawed and then toss it across the room every time it thinks about even considering hissing at you. I f*cking hate cats.
kriziababy 9
if you don't have anything nice to say DONT COMMENT