Today, I came home from a four-day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she's been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML
Today, I secretly took a day off work, since I had to use up my vacation, and wanted a "me day." My wife called, and I was ready to pretend to be at work. Too bad the cat decided to come up behind me and meow loudly, alerting my wife that I was home. She's pissed. FML
Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML
Today, and for the past few months, my cat has taken to yelling at me whenever I walk into the room he's in. I have no idea what he's so bent out of shape about, and I couldn't even make a reasonable guess as to why. FML
Today, my incredibly needy rescue cat - who knows she doesn't get to go into my bedroom at night - decided that she needed to wail and scratch the bedroom door from midnight until 5 a.m. Now that I'm awake, she's ignoring me because she knows I'm mad at her. FML
Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML
Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, I've known for a while that my cat can sense when I'm not feeling good, as she gets more clingy than usual. I've been a bit under the weather as of late, not really sick, but just a little off, and she keeps meowing nonstop and refuses to leave me alone for any reason whatsoever. I'm honestly very concerned now. FML
Today, since getting the new kitten that only I wanted, it has scratched me and peed on my socks, my side of the bed and my laptop. It loves my husband though, who was against getting a cat at all. FML
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Top comments
H8rSk8r 0
That's a pretty sour pussy if you ask me!
FFML_314 12
That's because your husband bad talks you to the cat while you're gone. They're plotting. Be careful. WEAR SOCKS!
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Comments (128)
EvilDave 13
I have news for you, that isn't your cat. It is your husband's cat, whether either of you like it or not.
Alexis31609 9
I agree with your husband. it's hilarious. xD
slayer101794 5
lmao it's pissed that you abandoned it for so long teach it to respect u again and.... SPANK THAT PUSSY!!!!
Nyc__Princess 0
seems like your husband & your cat have been taking advantage of your time away. Dump him for a dog OP (:
jayemdoubleyou 1
He is right.
ccrazykill 0
kill the stupid cat thereya go problem solved
AssDan 0
Ffs! Push it off the bed problem solved.
fridaf 0
lock your door before the cat goes in? get your husband to take her out???
KattAlex 4
Maybe, you should do what my brother did and slap the cat in the face with your dick or in your case *****. I can't make this shit up if I tried.
I_have_no_clue 0
This is disturbing on so many levels.
laden_swallow09 35
Don't you know that the only thing you can hope for a cat is that it develops Stockholm Syndrome? Damn cats… spaying and neutering for everybody!!!