Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML
Today, I woke up to my partner showering me with love and gifts. Confused, I asked, "What's the occasion?" It was our anniversary. Not only had I forgotten, but I'd also scheduled a gaming marathon with friends for the entire day. FML
Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML
Today, I surprised my wife with some new lingerie for our upcoming anniversary, thinking she would like it. Instead of a thank you, I got an ungrateful attitude from her instead. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, it is my boyfriend's and my one year anniversary. I bought him a Playstation 2. As soon as I gave it to him, he went straight to set it up without giving me anything. I said "What about me?" He walked over to me, gave me a kiss and said "I love it when you buy me things for no reason." FML
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
Today, for our 8th wedding anniversary I gave my husband several well-thought-out gifts. He gave me divorce papers. FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shiroun 0
Hey, he's trying to make you happy. I mean if he got flowers they might outlive you.
Cerataphora 0
YDI for smoking.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (177)
xstockholmlove 1
you should be grateful cigarettes are damn expensive
mon_e_mons 0
thats what you get for smoking =P
NisPe_BITCH 0
Aw, my ex used to get me a pack of Newports after a fight.
Sarah329 0
You shouldn't be smoking.
nice18 0
The anti smoking brigade got here early. With all due respect, shut the hell up, seriously, no one cares.
22aem 0
Smoking kills.
atreides_fml 0
Hahaha non romantic but thoughtful. And I think it's funny, such a vast amount of, "smoking kills, don't do it," and "you may not make it to your 2nd anni." You kids are ******* retarded, seriously, it takes decades atleast a pack a day to really truly kick in... Unless you're weak and have shifty genes. *******... Lol sorry about the anger but this illinformed, dumb anti-smoker shit has to stop, americans are weaker and more annoying then ever Still a very unromantic gift
4690flowerz 0
Don't smoke ):
EllaFoLiFE 0
wowww idk what to say! wellllllll... at least he loves you (hopefully)!!! lol happy anniversary! :P
fukmylife2 0
Dumb smoking bitch I quit May 1st And feel good now I gotta just quit smokin the devils lettuce