Anonymous
United Kingdom
It's just liquid fun
Today, I caught my mom trying to get secretly smashed out of her brain-box on booze at 8:00 a.m. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Woodland, United States
Denial
Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML
FunTimes
Canada
Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML
mirrorfad
This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
Glass houses and all that
Today, my mum got upset with me for having my first hangover ever after being of legal drinking age for over 6 years. She is a closet alcoholic in denial who hides red wine bottles around the house. FML
Anonymous
Today, I had to go pick up my mother at 3 in the morning. She had been out drinking and couldn't drive. She parties more than I do. FML
the only sober one
San Diego, United States
Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my alcoholic mother decided to finally check herself into rehab. She did it while drunk, and flirted with the front attendant. FML
Anonymous
New York, United States
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
BoomHeadshot
Australia
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
AnastasiyaNicholas
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Dazed and confused
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
Jillian Drute
United States
Today, my mom showed up completely hammered to a party I was throwing. The party was to celebrate the ten years that I've been sober. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should keep you vermouth shut, act very Cosmopolitan, and rum like the wind instead of letting your bad feelings ferment. Just whiskey yourself away for a while (maybe to Manhattan?) from that toxic situation. Maybe go someplace warm, watch a tequila sunrise and have sex on the beach with a girl named Margarita. Staying and wining or making a big brewhaha won't help. But be supportive and there is a martini tiny chance she will liquor problem eventually.
holstarox 2
She's not being racist. She's simply stating that she's NOT slaughtering a certain race. Being racist is hating a person or people because of their nationality. Get your facts right before you start ridiculing people
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Comments (79)
greycellgreen 0
So who is racist again?
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
FFML_314
iliketurdles 7
Yeah, she throws poor at black people :(
upinarms_fml 0
Your moms a drunk. And should grow up and start acting like a mother!
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
u should grow up and change your profile picture. No one wants to see your insufficient biceps
TiffanyBlews27 0
Maybe no one wants to see his biceps, but at least he's smart enough to know that the OP's mother doesn't act like a mother for getting drunk by 8 am. I don't see any reason for telling him no one want to see his "insufficient biceps". That was rude and uncalled for. Hasn't your mother (or anyone else) ever taught you "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all"? If not, start applying it & stop putting people down. Thanks.
tmmundy 17
I totally agree
icarose 4
ydi for saying "brain-box"
Bewitched_fml 0
Just remember one thing OP: its 5 o'clock somewhere.
forestqueenie 0
WTF did you say? For those who know normal English this makes no ******* sense! this slang is beyond awful!!!
domoattack88 0
I'm sad my previous amazing comment didn't show up. :(
littlefoott69 14
hide her booze and swap it with mouthwash she will still get smashed but she will smell better and be easier to ignore
OhShuttup 0
or it will land her in the hospital!
DocBastard 40
You should keep you vermouth shut, act very Cosmopolitan, and rum like the wind instead of letting your bad feelings ferment. Just whiskey yourself away for a while (maybe to Manhattan?) from that toxic situation. Maybe go someplace warm, watch a tequila sunrise and have sex on the beach with a girl named Margarita. Staying and wining or making a big brewhaha won't help. But be supportive and there is a martini tiny chance she will liquor problem eventually.
iliketurdles 7
I see what you did there. Actually, I don't. I do not drink. Therefore refusing to have any knowledge on alcoholic beverages. But then again, I'm no Virgin Mary.
yemi1 0
doc, I'm in love with you!
wwerulez14 6
*Claps* That was awesome. :D
minkay 4
ydi, for calling it a "brain-box" haha
KitKatKate98 0
Was it a Monday? I don't balme her if it was a Monday. Mondays suck.