Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML
Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML
Today, I hosted a family dinner. I made a roast, potatoes, green beans, and homemade bread. Everything went smoothly until I realized halfway through I'd used powdered sugar instead of flour. No one noticed at first, then my aunt asked in horror, “Why's it taste like cake?” The rest of the meal was eyed suspiciously and I almost fainted from the stress. FML
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
Today, I got together a surprise party for my mom's birthday. I invited all her friends and her douchebag boyfriend who I don't get along with. When my mom got home, he took credit and got her friends to back him up with bribing. My mom said I'm selfish and horrible for not trying for her. FML
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
Today, my mom left for a business trip. Thinking it was a good time to throw a party, I mass messaged everyone on my contact list. I thought it was going to be a success. The problem with this? My mom is on my contacts list. She replied "I'll be home in an hour. You're grounded." FML
Today, I got grounded for 2 weeks for slapping my brother after he threw a baseball at my head and hit my shin with a bat. He’s in 9th grade and I'm in 8th. He got ice cream to "cheer him up". FML
Today, my mom tried to worm her way back into my life by manipulating my brother into doing the dirty work for her. I pretended to swallow the bullshit and invited her over, just so I could slam the door in her face. My brother says I went too far, like he somehow forgot what a shit mom she was. FML
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Top comments
j_cat187 20
At least it wasn't laxatives.
LuminousKing 7
Kick him in the balls
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Comments (109)
CuriousAlien 7
For Revenge, get an onion, put a stick through the middle of it, dip it in caramel so it would look like a caramel apple, and give it to him. He ***** with your food, **** with his!!! This means waaaaar!!
frontmanmike 14
YDI for not taste testing and double checking your recipe. What the hell kind of baker are you?
Daffodilly 14
Shrek 2?
Psych101 9
48- No, Backdoor ***** 7. You've never seen it? It's a family classic.
ohhhsnapple 14
I find it hard to believe that everyone left when the desserts weren't good. Really, that's just distasteful. (Teehee...but seriously.)
redhedsaysrawr 18
Haha I love the Username OP, didnt quite understand that at first, but Urbandictionary makes everything better!
Agony_Blackheart 2
You people saying they should have tasted it first aren't the brightest when it comes to baking. You're not supposed to eat anything with raw eggs in it...
dennis96411 12
57 - I think they meant AFTER the desserts have been cooked.
ariaofdoom 16
You can eat things containing raw eggs, but if you don't know where your eggs come from you are increasing your chances of salmonella.
ScarletBloom 14
That's what you get when out of stupidity you trust someone too much.
awkward_gothlady 32
So I guess it's incredibly naive to expect that the canister that has contained sugar every other time you've been in the kitchen still contains sugar? Or is OP supposed to be able to imagine every possible prank that could possibly be played and prepare for it?
BelicaBonssex 17
Why didn't your mother take care of her food in the first place?
perdix 31
While you are at it, you'd probably better throw out any old teddy bears you may have. Your brother has most likely been "tampering" with it.