Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to work hungover. I was in the back room by myself and thought I could trust a fart. I was so very wrong, and on my own for the next three hours and couldn't go home. FML
Today, at my job, I was so tired and aggravated that I accidentally mumbled, "I need a drink." One of the patients I was taking care of heard me and said, "Me too." I work at an addiction rehab facility. FML
Today, after drinking myself to an oblivion, I awoke with a massive hangover. I didn’t want to go to work, but every excuse I came up with in my head screamed of alcoholics. When I arrived, my boss asked me why I was there. It was my day off. FML
Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML
Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, I discovered both how much I really talk to myself when I'm drinking alone and how thin the walls of my apartment are. I heard my own slurred voice coming from my neighbor's apartment. They had recorded me and made a mixtape of some of the more interesting things I had said. FML
Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML
Today, while not feeling well at work, I had to finish up some papers. I was so out of it, I couldn't remember how to spell my name. I had to improvise by pronouncing each syllable of my name out loud. My boss now thinks I'm a dumbass. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
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Top comments
TrollFeeder 10
Damn how hungover were you?
yamatelle 19
If he, by any chance, stole a cop car and parked it in the middle of Las Vegas Blvd. with a note that said, "Couldn't find a meter, so here's $4." then yes, he's a moron.
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Comments (98)
salvorican 24
Well at least you werent talking about being high or taking it up the butt. But if u did fyl
wishfulmidget 0
castigate? please use normal words even i can understand:P
IndiRae 9
Come on, pal. You're only a year younger than me, it means they were dissing or giving themselves a good stern talking to. Pay attention in English class, or just simply pull your head from your ass and you got this.
MagicallyFat 12
He's a midget be nice
wishfulmidget 0
maybe indirae should pay attention in MATH. 6 months does not equal 1 year
IndiRae 9
Ok. My bad, I just checked your age not your birthdate. And if you want get specific it's six months and sixteen days.
IndiRae 9
Well **** no it's not. Shit. Whatever I already graduated.
wishfulmidget 0
lol its okay im just messin with ya
rallets 23
classic
Buttsexpirate 9
Op: Goddammit I'm such a ******* idiot! I got so shit-faced drinking out of that hookers hooch! And all that cocaine I did. Bob: uhh... Bill? Op: Shit did i say that aloud? That's how I imagine it went
jillianmathers12 13
That is so funny! YDI for getting so drunk though :)
loserman67 36
Sounds like last night's frivolity followed you into the office. I hope you were not talking out loud about the fat, sweaty he-she you picked up, took home and had several hours of un-protected sex with...
Capt_Oblivious 10
Shouldn't have drank soo much last night. Did you drunk text the guy you met at AA also?
boatsnhoes9769 0
AA is for quitters
cubancgar 0
I literally just this second did the same damn thing, except everyone started laughing once I realized I was thinking out loud
sparty12 2
YDI for using words like 'castigate'
ImmaB3AST 7
When an FML team person insults your comment.. You know it's bad.
MareNostrum 0
You could take this opportunity to expand your vocabulary rather than leave a braindead comment... You're going to come across things that aren't always in layman's terms, you know.
xXashley_marie7 5
"Dirty mouth? clean it up!"
ikickgingers 15
Done that before