Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like, "I'm a bear." FML
Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML
Today, I asked my crush what music he was into, misheard his answer because of background noise, so I spent 5 minutes enthusiastically talking about a band he'd never heard of, thinking we were bonding. When he finally stopped me and clarified, I laughed too loudly out of shame, then knocked over my drink. FML
Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML
Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
Oh yeah that breed of dog is awesome, very loyal, but they have a bad habit of humping things.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I thought the Dumbledore was a breed of goat, with the really long beard and all... The canine version of this would be pretty awesome.
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Comments (163)
HowieDoIt 21
I bet you wanted to slytherin to a hole from embarrassment
rattusrattus 19
That is probably one of those things that, if all goes well, will be brought up at your wedding, or your anniversary bash, or something. It's cute. Don't sweat it. Unless he stormed out in table-flipping, cactus-flailing, SUV-launching anger, in which case you seriously dodged a bullet there.
cartooncharacter 9
#27, that was simply hilarious. So, you're implying that op's boyfriend/crush/date is The Hulk. Or that fag off of wwe that says FEED ME MORE. Lol
spekledworf 18
This FML needs to be edited... out* and I*
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I agree, unless the guy was freaking out, this is really just a cute memory you two can share. Don't worry about it. :)
beccalovespurple 3
haha win!
HowieDoIt 21
Dobby has made dumb comment, dobby is single!
cgchamp89 7
Justop... in an attempt to say just stop.
rvnclwprfct731 13
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
DanielleinDC 34
If he has a sense of humor, he won't mind your slip. If he doesn't, well, you don't want to be with such a person, do you?
ttqq 7
Both of you should shut up
wolverine47 10
That's not really F my life worthy...