Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like, "I'm a bear." FML
Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML
Today, I asked my crush what music he was into, misheard his answer because of background noise, so I spent 5 minutes enthusiastically talking about a band he'd never heard of, thinking we were bonding. When he finally stopped me and clarified, I laughed too loudly out of shame, then knocked over my drink. FML
Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML
Today, I was spelling T-R-E-A-T to my fiancé so that the dog wouldn't understand what I was talking about. Turns out, neither could my fiancé. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. A cute woman said, "Nice dog!" Without thinking, I replied, "You too!" FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
Oh yeah that breed of dog is awesome, very loyal, but they have a bad habit of humping things.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I thought the Dumbledore was a breed of goat, with the really long beard and all... The canine version of this would be pretty awesome.
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Comments (163)
inakatoots 5
Haha! That's a good one! Can I use that?
skyeyez9 25
Now that I think of it, I haven't seen many dobermans.
My_Life24 22
I didn't know Dumbledore was a name for a breed of a dog. I thought he was a powerful wizard with a long beard. I kid, I kid.
taybay23 13
I'm not sure what this site's all about. Can someone tell me? Maybe a link to the goddamned FAQ? Pwease?
white16sox 19
Well, the site is fmylife.com. I don't know how you don't understand the point of it. It's where people post things that made them think "**** my life."
Eivana 37
That made me laugh! I love when people trip up and say silly things! Happens all the time, don't let it getcha down. Laugh it off!
Mifflicious 18
First time in a long while I actually laughed at a FML! Maybe someone will make a crossbreed between those two breeds and actually call it a Dumbledore D:
Drakorex 10
I don't really see how this is an fml, I would think it was funny
Red_Phoenix 7
If that didn't make you look like a derp than nothing will.
gracehi 33
We're all derpy now and then.
magaliwoodrock 19
That's not bad, if anything it would be cute make your crush laugh you know
PhilSnake22 13
Hardly a big deal, all you had to do was correct yourself after saying you meant to say labrador and doberman, you probably would have both laughed about it. Surely you didn't just stay quiet after saying that?