Today, my soon-to-be-ex saw me cleaning my creases with a wash rag, even though I’d showered earlier. To him that’s proof that I'd fucked someone else and was wiping away the evidence. To me it’s proof that I need touch ups throughout the day so I don’t stink. I sweat profusely and it’s over 90°F. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML
Today, it’s extremely hot, so showering and deodorant does fuck all for my odor. I thought I could get away with having my arms pressed to my sides at all times, but instead, a boy I don’t even know physically lifted my arms above my head and loudly declared that I stank. FML
Today, after recently breaking up with my boyfriend, I unknowingly washed my laundry using his washing tabs. My whole wardrobe now smells like my ex. FML
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend using a washcloth to clean his cock and sweaty balls. He told me he's been doing this for quite some time now. Guess who's been using the same washcloth to clean her face. FML
Today, I slapped my boyfriend’s ass as he was getting out of the shower and came away with shit on my finger. Bear in mind this was AFTER he'd showered, when he’s supposed to be all clean, yet he had enough shit there to get on my finger from patting his cheeks. Not his crack, his cheeks. FML
Today, my not-yet-even girlfriend dumped me in front of her family, as they all mocked and laughed at me because of my pointless and ridiculous "quirks". I'd told them that I shower and change into fresh clothes every day. I'd also said do not wipe after I poop, but I wash, soap, rinse, and dry. FML
Today, my mother chewed me out for not wearing deodorant and smelling of B.O. I was wearing plenty of deodorant. My shirt just smelled like my boyfriend, whom I'd been cuddling with earlier. FML
Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 21
I’m relatively skinny and even I need touch-ups in this heat. I’m a guy too! But seriously, Eff that ex!
Anderling 33
Man, wait until he finds out that girls don’t naturally smell like flowers and that they need to shave in order to get hairless legs. That’ll really rock his world. I’m glad you’re gearing up to find someone with an actual brain, OP.
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Comments (5)
tiptoppc 21
I’m relatively skinny and even I need touch-ups in this heat. I’m a guy too! But seriously, Eff that ex!
Anderling 33
Man, wait until he finds out that girls don’t naturally smell like flowers and that they need to shave in order to get hairless legs. That’ll really rock his world. I’m glad you’re gearing up to find someone with an actual brain, OP.
RichardPencil 32
I can hardly blame him! So many guys are lining up to **** fat, sweaty girls that he has every reason to be paranoid!
Crowned Sataness 12
sounds like good riddance to him!
Bogrbon 27
I’m a married dude and 1. I get the “freshening up” with my wife, and 2. In the heat I get swamp-sack some days and need to freshen up too. Totally normal.