Today, my daughter confessed that she’s pregnant from a one-night stand with some guy she met on vacation in Florida a few months ago. The dirtbag never told her his last name and the phone number he gave her was fake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the guy I had a two-week long fling with and got pregnant by (while on birth control I might add), and who disappeared more than a decade ago after I told him, showed up at my door, demanding shared custody of my daughter. While he is her biological parent, she’s never met him and was terrified. FML
Today, I found out that the man I met online was a fake Facebook account, made by my daughter and her friends. FML
Today, I found out that the girl that my boyfriend considers “one of the guys” isn’t really one of the guys after all. I trusted him to let her stay at his house overnight on several occasions, and to spend alone time with her. She’s pregnant, and the baby is his. FML
Today, a DNA test proved that my 2-month-old daughter isn't mine. The real father is my girlfriend's husband, whom she married last year when she lied to me about going on a vacation. We've been together for three years and I never knew. FML
Today, I found out my daughter got married and didn’t even bother to tell anyone. She just turned up at a family get together with some random dude and introduced him as the guy she married two weeks ago while drunk. They’re now dating to see if the marriage will work out long term. I can’t even. FML
Today, despite warning her multiple times, my daughter has gone and got herself pregnant by an idiot who has never held a job for more than 3 months, and once confidently told me the moon landing was a conspiracy. And yes, he scarpered the second he found out she was pregnant. FML
Today, after lying to my kid so she doesn’t learn how little her dad cares about her, my current husband, who didn’t know I was doing this, told her everything, such as how the last two times her dad flaked on picking her up was because he was in Vegas gambling, or in jail for hiring hookers. FML
Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant but don’t know who the Dad is. My Mom said “that’s alright, I still don’t know who your dad is”. So apparently my father isn’t my real Dad. FML
Today, my ex-husband got married to my daughter. She’s 18, a high school dropout, and pregnant with his child. She strongly believes she’ll have a bright future with him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
clairecurses 19
it's not completely his fault...
Mynxie 26
How is he dirt bag? Maybe she shouldn't have slept with someone she just met and knew nothing about it. Or was too stupid to even use a condom.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
franniemae 8
Perfect, she can now find a loving family to raise the child with no interference from a dirt bag. Just a suggestion. No judgment here.
jbuckets_404 39
Oh, you mean adoption ... or a nonjudgmental mother?
jbuckets_404 39
To iamchazzi et. al, it's the YDI button since there's no YDDI (3rd person) button available.
jbuckets_404 39
While RichardPencil does have great comment, not sure I'd use said name that some could mangle into "your-dick-is-pencil-shaped." lol Just saying.... Then again my name ends in "(Error) 404" [actually part of ZIP code] - "brain? not found" - lol - on some topics before googling.
lola94_fml 9
should have been using protection
blink831forever 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Congratulations you raised a *****. You should convince her to give the baby up for adoption so that the kid has a chance of not being an idiot.
NirvanaLove 21
that clever son of a bitch
SwordSlashBlade 13
Him: smart Her: not so much
evilmom75 3
you should have taught her not to spread her legs for a random stranger. be happy a baby is all she's got from him. it could be worse. like HIV or the clap
QueenAfrodite 8
That’s kind of how one night stands happen. He’s not a dirt bag. She should have been a lot more careful. But everyone knows when you have sex that you run the risk of getting pregnant. I would even bet the first name he gave was a fake. Hope the baby is healthy. I’m sure he or she will be well loved.
Matthew Rafter 2
Smart move having sex without a condom. Off to the planned parenthood drive-thru.